


Through His Eyes

by orphan_account



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Eventual Romance, M/M, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-10 09:37:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7839742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanda is a normal high school student. Who just can't seem to recall anything about his past, and has a bizarre obsession with collecting antiques. If only he realized that his pastime would shake his perception of his entire existence to the core.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a new (probably badly written) story that happened to be in my mind and refused to get out until I had it typed down. I hope you'll bear with the strangeness of it and enjoy, but even if you don't, that's all right~  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura~

As the bell rung, signalling the end of another troublesome day of school, Kanda Yuu wasted no time in slinging his shoulder bag over said part of his body and slipping from the classroom with a speed that even members of the Black Order Academy track team could find themselves jealous of. It was a self-imposed task that the raven had set upon himself to leave the school’s premises before the virtual stampede of students barrelled out of the building.

Stepping quickly through the halls, he deftly avoided whoever showed even vague signs of attempting to approach him. It wasn’t as though he disliked them… All right, maybe it was. He did honestly prefer to be left on his own, and found company to be something time-consuming and avoidable.

Few people dared draw near to him although he was aware that he had many bothersome admirers, many of whom would leave letters or small gifts at his locker when he was not present in an admittedly cliche act. The only ones that did happen to approach him and refuse to leave him by himself was a certain redhead of his age that irked him to no end, and a plain girl.

He had established his disapproval for the two, who had, without his permission, declared themselves his friends. Why they would wish to be close to him when he had purposely manifested an unsociable persona was beyond him.

Pushing open the doors of the school building, Kanda stepped out onto the courtyard, pausing momentarily to relish in the cooling breeze that penetrated the warm air, characteristic of spring. His eyes narrowed slightly in an almost invisible manifestation of contentment.

Running a hand through his hair, supposedly long for a male and pulled into a ponytail with a white ribbon, he cast a glance around his surroundings. At a much more sedate pace, the long-haired male resumed his traversing through the courtyard until he reached the sidewalk. The sounds of rambunctious voices rang clearly in his ears, alerting him that the rest of the students had arrived.

Quickening his pace, he headed down the path spread out before him, a slight frown curling onto his lips. He, however, was not swift enough to escape hearing the unabashedly loud cry of “Yuu!” resounding through the courtyard of the academy. Wincing in displeasure, he transitioned into a brisk walk that bordered a run.

“Yuu! Wait for me!” 

Instinctively, Kanda shifted to his left just as a slightly taller figure charged past him, nearly running into a fire hydrant that stood by the road. He clucked his tongue in annoyance and pointedly turned his gaze from the redhead, not slowing his steps.

His pace was soon matched by the somewhat strangely accessorized redhead, who opted to hold his shockingly fiery locks half-out of his face with a bandana, revealing an eyepatch over his right eye, leaving only one vibrant green eye visible. His ears were adorned with wine-red hoop earrings and a mischievous grin was emblazoned over pale lips. 

“Hi, Yuu~ haven’t seen you all day. Too bad we didn’t have any classes together today.”

“Che. Don’t call me that, usagi.” Kanda could have sworn that the taller male had a death wish to address him by his given name without permission. 

No one called him by his first name since he had been orphaned, or so he had been told. The very thought of his first name was enough to revive unwanted memories within him, and it was near enough to drive him literally mad.

“Antisocial as ever, huh, Yuu? Lenalee said she was going to go hang out with Miranda and Kuro-chan today. Something about shopping? I don’t know. I kinda pity the poor guy, being dragged into it with someone like Lenalee…” Lavi rambled without caring to pause for breath. 

“Shut up.” An elbow met the redhead’s ribs none too gently, courtesy of an irritated raven as Kanda’s steps turned into graceful strides in his obvious attempt to leave the rowdy teen alone. 

“Oww…!” 

Much to Kanda’s displeasure, the redhead did not seem to want to desist in pursuing him. His frown manifested into a ill-mannered scowl as he stared directly ahead of himself, not wishing to grant any form of attention to the teen beside him.

“I was thinking we could go study together or something, Yuu,” Lavi continued, rather unperturbed for someone who had just received an elbow to the ribs from Kanda. “Your place?”

“No.” The answer was spoken with no hint of hesitation, causing the taller of the pair to wilt. 

“Aww, but Yuu--”

“Shut up.”

The subterfuge in the redhead’s words was far too prominent to Kanda. After all, it was a well known fact that, despite how admired he himself was within the Black Order Academy, there was a reason as to why he was unapproachable. It was a rumour that had somehow managed to spread through the campus, and for anyone to suggest visiting his place was almost ludicrous. 

As if that was not enough, that rabbit was not an intellectually challenged person, despite his seemingly foolish initial impression. He was one of those people who possessed an innate knack for memorization and managed to maintain perfect grades with little effort. For him, studying was doubtless nothing more than a needless pastime.

Considering pastimes, Kanda paused as they approached an intersection, his blue gaze scanning the roads, crowded with typical late-afternoon traffic. His gaze settled on a small niche at a building that led to a narrow alleyway. 

As the traffic directed itself in his favour, he was quick to make his crossing. Much to his dismay, Lavi was still by his side, traipsing along with a certain cheeriness that even Kanda himself found difficult to decipher.

Sometimes that fact about the redhead unnerved him. He could sometimes never read beyond the superficial emotions that were portrayed by the teen. Lavi was equally complex as he was, he realized. He had many more faces that what he chose to reveal.

Not bothering to trouble himself further, he took a sharp turn, laying his hand upon the niche in the wall. His gaze darkened slightly as it trailed over to meet one striking emerald orb that stared at him with curiosity. Turning his gaze away, he began to traverse the alley.

Opening a door at the side of the adjacent building, he opened it without any hesitation. The sound of a quaint tinkling bell resounded through the space, sparsely lit by multiple lanterns as opposed to modern options of lamps. The sound of strings created an almost haunting melody within the expanse. The air within it was unnaturally thin, considering where it was situated.

“You have not come alone.”

Kanda gave an irked cluck of his tongue, pushing Lavi away from himself as the redhead jumped, startled, and inched closer to him. He sighed and scanned the shop for a small while before his azure gaze rested upon the source of the voice, a tall, dark-skinned man that sat in a corner, apparently also the source of the music.

“Ignore him,” he stated brusquely to the man, moving over to a wall and inspecting the hangings.

“Where are we?” Lavi hissed, slight alarm within his voice.

Flashing him a glare, Kanda moved through the room, eyeing the many old-looking objects that were strewn over the floor, walls, shelves, and some even hanging from the ceiling. His gaze drifted back to the man in the corner, who had not ceased with his music.

“Do you have anything new, Marie?”

The thin melody lingered momentarily without proceeding as the man lowered his hands from his instrument, which seemed to be a harp of sorts. As he stood, it was made evident that he was blind from his shades to the momentary pauses in his movements.

“Nothing suitable for new eyes,” Marie responded sombrely. 

“Oh? I’d like to see,” Kanda responded with such a familiarity, it left Lavi nonplussed. The raven did not seem to care however, stepping forward to follow the taller man through the shop. His gaze drifted back to the redhead, a hint of warning shining within them as he silently denied Lavi permission to follow them.

Trailing further into the recesses of the shop, his eyes narrowed slightly as he attempted to properly discern what was around him. He slowed to an abrupt stop as Marie reached up to a shelf at the back of the room, pulling from it what appeared to be a box.

“I had it reserved for you. Normally I would not let anything like this be shown to anyone of your age, but I feel as though this is something that you would want.”

“There are no standards to conform to with me, Marie,” Kanda responded in a monotone, crossing his arms over his chest. The statement seemed to amuse the older man, although no verbal manifestation of said amusement was voiced.

As the box was brought to a source of light, the raven caught sight of more detail upon the object. It was rectangular in shape, a little over an arm’s length, and black in colour with trimmings that appeared to be of silver. Upon the upper end of the ornamental box was a symbol that Kanda recognized from another trinket he had purchased from the antique shop: an unusual cross symbol with inscription in an indecipherable tongue.

As the box was opened to him, his eyes widened and he nearly took a step back in thickly-veiled shock. That shock soon turned into intrigue as his eyes narrowed at the box’s contents. He frowned before moving to shut the ornamental container.

“How much do you want for it?” he questioned, running a hand over its surface. His clear eyes drifted up to the blind man, who remained silent, almost as if reluctant to speak. A sigh passed his lips. “I’ll take it. Just name your price.”

“For you, I’ll say a hundred dollars,” Marie finally responded resignedly. Nodding, Kanda pulled his wallet from his bag, retrieving the money from it and pressing it into the scarred hand of the taller man. Returning his wallet to his bag, he shut it.

“Deal,” he concurred, taking the box into his arms with a certain care and turning to head out of the shop. After a moment’s hesitation, he spared a brief glance back at the man. “Thanks.” The word left his lips stiffly, almost as if an attempt at copying something he had heard before, and not truly arising from himself.

“Take care of it,” the man responded simply.

“Che. You know I will.”

He received no response as he returned to where Lavi stood. The redhead seemed to have overcome his initial trepidation and was now inspecting every inch of the antique shop with absorption. Sparing him a brief glance, Kanda cleared his throat before heading for the door.

“Hey, Yuu, what did you get?”

Pointedly ignoring the taller teen, Kanda quickly slipped from the alleyway and back onto the sidewalk. At the current moment, he was well aware that he would be bombarded with incessant questions, but he did not have the desire to answer, or even speak. 

“What were you doing there, Yuu? How do you know about that place?” 

“Che.” 

The traffic had subsided somewhat, due to the fact that Kanda had spent a generous amount of time within the shop and they were nearing the less busy parts of the city. Crossing the road once again and heading onto the outskirts of the city, Kanda stopped at the courtyard of a fairly old but well-maintained townhouse. 

Approaching the door of one of the many houses upon the row, Kanda paused, holding the box in one hand and shifting to grab his keys from the pocket of his light coat with the other. Opening the door, he sidled into the building, not bothering to hold the door for the redhead who had insisted upon following him.

Stepping deftly through the halls that were adorned from floor to wall to ceiling with many other antique objects, he entered the living room. He set the box upon the table in the centre of the room that was lavishly furnished, but lacking in practical furniture. 

“Wow…! What’s with all this stuff, Yuu? Never took you for the kind of person to stock up on this kind of thing.”

“Che.”

Kanda turned and strode through the hall once again, removing his shoes and setting them by the door before pulling off his coat and hanging it upon a wooden rack. Catching the redhead’s fingers inching curiously towards a red wall hanging with golden accents and a diamond shaped emblem at its centre, he reflexively moved to slap the hand away.

“Touch anything and I’ll murder you,” he snapped in a manner more irritable than he had expected. The redhead seemed surprised by the added hostility to his already virulent demeanour. Ever quick to placate, Lavi lifted his hands in a pacifying motion.

“My bad!”

Clucking his tongue once again in annoyance, Kanda made his way to the kitchen. “Go study. And shut up.”

Stepping over to a counter decked with rags, he selected two, setting them aside. Quickly, he tugged at the ribbon in his hair, allowing the dark locks to fall over his shoulders and down his back freely like a waterfall of petroleum. Hanging the article upon a hook in the wall, he pulled a white strip of fabric from it and pulled his hair up once again.

Taking the rags, he shifted over to the sink, soaking one in warm water. Icy blue orbs drifted over to where Lavi had settled himself down upon the carpeted floor of the living room and pulled out a few textbooks from his bag. No doubt the redhead would merely read through them for enjoyment and not to study. Shutting off the tap, he wrung the soaked rag until it grew mildly damp in his grasp.

It was the first time that anyone remotely close to his age had visited his abode before. It would be doubtless strange for anyone to see such an odd choice of decor for someone his age. It was abnormal for a teen to harbour an affinity for antiques, after all. He ought to have been particularly inclined towards modern technology like the rest of the world.

Were he to speak of what he truly thought, it was doubtless that people would brand him insane. Perhaps he was insane. After all, he could remember very little of his younger days with his parents… he couldn’t even recall his parents’ faces. As if that wasn’t odd enough, he could find no pictures or other traces of them. It would be no exaggeration if he claimed they never existed.

His foster father was an eccentric one, and had claimed that they had died in a fire while he had been in school. He could remember nothing of the sort, but he wasn’t aware of what he did remember. Even now, when he had searched for any trace of his parents, going as far as to seek out their birth and death certificates, he could find nothing.

He moved from the kitchen and back into the hall, kneeling down upon the carpet-cushioned floor and beginning to carefully clean the antiques with his damp cloth, utilizing a certain care that he had never once exhibited to the public.

Some people would have contended with him, branding his pastime something useless that would never profit him. If he were to be honest with himself, he could almost agree with them. The compulsion he possessed towards the old objects was anomalous. And yet, he felt a strange attachment to them; strange in the sense that he somehow despised every article of antiquity he had purchased, yet could not seem to let them go.

“Hey, Yuu!”

Pale digits clenched around the rag they held in aggravation as the familiarly obnoxious voice broke through Kanda’s musings. He had almost been blissfully unaware of the redhead’s presence, did not Lavi choose to speak and disrupt his train of thought.

“I thought I told you to shut up, usagi.” 

“So mean, Yuu… I just wanted to know what you got!”

“None of your business. Now shut up or get out.” Shutting out the sound of the taller teen’s complaints, he resumed his self appointed task of maintaining his furnishings. 

As he slowly spanned the distance of the hall, he caught sight of the redhead shifting closer to the silver and black box upon the table. Standing, he strode over to the redhead, and whipped his arm with the damp rag, dropping it and picking up the object.

“I thought I told you not to touch anything?” he snapped irritably, holding the box out of the teen’s hands. His eyes narrowed into a glare as he stared at the curious gaze within the one visible eye of the redhead. There were cases in which he hoped for the phrase about curiosity killing the cat to be true.

“But Yuu--!”

Aiming a sharp kick to Lavi’s side, he relaxed in satisfaction as the teen doubled over and set the box back upon the table with care. Grabbing the rag from the floor, he moved away, tossing it onto the kitchen counter. Grabbing a dry rag, he began to dust off the antiques.

Pale eyelids covered azure eyes as his gaze narrowed once again. Having another presence within his residence was troublesome and distracting. Of course, perhaps he ought to be studying as opposed to repeating his routine tasks; not that he would. Having an unwarranted guest was not within his range of plans, and he did hate when things did not progress according to plan.

Moving over to the fireplace within the living room, he retrieved a long, black sword from where it rested upon a stand at the mantle, and carefully cleaned the object. It had been hideously rusted when he had purchased it, but with meticulous cleaning, he was surprised to find it in a form that could almost be mistaken as brand new.

Even as he worked, he could feel a pair of eyes near boring into his back. A habitual cluck of the tongue passed his lips, but he chose to ignore the sensation in favour of catering to the needs of the sword. As he set it back upon the mantle, the sound of faintly creaking hinges behind him announced to him that he had made a dire mistake.

Turning back, his jaw tightened at the sight of the redhead staring at the opened box, his one visible emerald eye virtually bulging with either horror or disbelief; Kanda wasn’t sure. He stepped over to the table and laid one hand upon the lid of the box, glaring at the nosy teen.

“Didn't I tell you not to touch anything, baka usagi?”

“But… But Yuu, that’s…that’s an…” the redhead stammered, motioning to the box while shifting away from it.

Kanda’s eyes drifted down to the box, gaze trailing over the lining of upholstery-patterned red velvet to rest upon the severed and somehow preserved arm lying within the box. He sighed in annoyance, taking the time to inspect it in open light now that it had been revealed.

It was a grotesque, sundered appendage, blood-red in hue and sinewy in appearance. Veins seemed to bulge around the wrist and hand area, and the longer than average nails were tapered and pitch black. Upon the hand was a cross that almost seemed to be burned into the hideously unnatural skin.

Snapping the lid over the box once again, he raised his gaze to Lavi, who stared at him as though he were mad. His lips twisted into a scowl. 

“Get out of my house,” he stated simply, his voice not angered, but monotonous. He didn’t need any more judgmental stares to his face. He was aware of his abnormality, but it was a different matter to have someone else see him for the apparent crazed person he was.

Taking the box into his arms, he turned and headed for the stairs, ignoring the rabbit who stared at him, for once, lost for words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What have I done...I don't know. Kanda is always a little insane whenever I write him. I don't think he appreciates it. And poor Lavi keeps getting beaten up some way or another when he's in any scene with Kanda -.-


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...I'm surprised that you all like this, but I'm also glad~  
> I'm not sure if 'cute' was what I was going for, but if you find it cute, then wonderful ^.^ I guess it is cute in a slightly weird way.  
> Thank you for all the support and encouragement, and here's chapter 2~  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura

Shutting himself within the corner of his room, Kanda, set the box down and opened it once again, the light shining through the partially drawn drapes of his window falling upon the detached limb within the box. A shiver ran down his back at the sight of it.

Perhaps what Lavi’s expression had implied was the truth, and his leisure activity had been taken too far. His gaze flickered back to the door. He had not chosen any of his belongings out of the desire for them, however. He had bought them out of compulsion; he held no liking for any of it, but he could not leave the small antique shop without them.

It was almost as if they were calling out to him, demanding that he take them. The thought seemed so asinine, it made a bark of mirthless laughter play upon his lips, but never truly elicit from his mouth. His narrowed gaze settled back upon the arm.

It was, without a doubt, real. How it had been preserved, he hadn’t the slightest idea, nor did he know who or what it had previously belonged to. It was humanoid to a certain extent; that was clear enough, but the additional abnormal appearance ended its humanness. 

Tentatively, he reached out, running the tips of his digits over the veiny hand. His fingers curled back almost immediately as though it had shocked his hand. Regardless of the anticipated coldness of the limb, it still felt very much alive; healthy in texture and somewhat pliable to the touch.

It should have been unnerving, but Kanda only found himself all the more fascinated by what should have been a gruesome object. 

As if that was not enough to pique his repulsed interest, he felt as though he recognized the limb. Its appearance to the sensation he had experienced upon touching it brought about an uncanny sense of recognition within him.

After a moment’s hesitation, he traced the limb with his fingertips once again, his eyes narrowing in vague mystification. Breathing out a perturbed sigh, he shut the case, setting it upon the small table at his bedside, he executed an about-face and stepped towards the door in silence.

He had yet to finish tending to his many furnishings. With luck, perhaps the rabbit had been discomfited to the point where he had left the house. If anything, that would be a blessing following the precursory unfortunate events.

Shutting the door of his room behind himself, he silently stalked through the short hall and began his descent upon the staircase. Icy, powder blue orbs drifted down to scan the living room and, much to his dismay, settled upon a peculiarly reserved redhead, sitting at the foot of the stairs, reading a book in uncharacteristic silence.

“Che. You’re still here? I told you to get out.”

Standing a few steps at a distance from Lavi, he eyed the male with disguised tension. As the taller teen shifted to look at him, Kanda could discern hints of worry within the visible eye of the redhead. A scowl immediately tore violently over his lips at the sight. The last thing he desired was worry. After all, it was his life; he could choose what he accomplished with it.

“You all right, Yuu?” Lavi ventured, almost hesitantly. 

“Che.” Deeming it a prime opportunity to complete his descent, Kanda continued to step down, sparing the redhead a sharp, irritated smack to the upside of his head none too gently. “Shut up.”

His vocabulary seemed to be mainly comprised of the three words as of late, he realized. Not that he cared; if others found it to be a problem, they could deal with it. Flashing a glare at the taller teen, he proceeded towards the kitchen to retrieve his rags.

In an almost sullen silence, he resumed his almost forgotten work, utilizing whatever of his self-control he possessed to ignore the teen sitting at the foot of the staircase and staring at him with that discomposing stare that always seemed more erudite than initially assumed.

“Yuu, that arm--”

“If you’re going to talk, then get out,” Kanda snapped before the rabbit had the chance to complete his sentence. He was well aware of the questions that must have arisen upon the sight of both it, and his abode in general. He, however, was in no mood to speak of such things at the moment, much less entertain company.

“But Yuu--”

“Just leave,” Kanda hissed wearily, flashing a glare at the redhead. With a slight frown, Lavi stood and, much to Kanda’s surprise, nodded and moved to grab his bag. Upon slinging it over his shoulder, the teen progressed towards the door, flashing him a weak grin.

“See you tomorrow then,” he called back, slipping his shoes on and opening the door. As Kanda watched, he departed from the building, leaving him to his own. Clucking his tongue, Kanda quickly strode over to the door, locking it.

Turning back, he leaned slightly against the wooden entrance, staring down the hall and taking in the sight of his home. He had never realized just how snared he felt within the building. Slaving for the sake of objects he couldn’t say he appreciated or even liked for a reason that he couldn’t conceive seemed to be his only purpose for dwelling within the place.

He scowled. Were he to utilize an opportunity that benefited his education before he had finished his strenuous daily routine of caring for all that he possessed, he knew that he would feel uncharacteristically remorseful for days on end.

An annoyed sigh passed his lips as he stepped through the still hall, rag in hand. Without the added disruptions, he would be finished within a matter of an hour or so, much to his satisfaction. And then he’d be able to study for those irksome tests. He could not truthfully label himself an outstanding student like that rabbit. He had his primes, but he also had his weak points. Biting his tongue, he proceeded to finish his impulsive task. 

His gaze drifted towards one of the windows and out at the open sky that overspread the suburban area within which he resided. A strange feeling stole over him; if he were to place a word on it, the most accurate description of the emotion would be nostalgia. 

A frown curled onto his lips and he turned away from the window, instead focussing his attention upon the black marble carving of some character in another language he had seen script of once in a blue moon, but couldn’t trouble himself to recall. It was an eye-pleasing piece, but to him, it was heavy. It seemed to be one of the greater burdens of all his possessions, although he could not comprehend why.

His eyes drifted up the staircase, and to the door of his room. All of the pieces that he had bought were at the very least a century old, which led him to question his most recent addition once again. Surely there was nothing that could possibly preserve something as prone to decomposition as a limb of a creature for so long. 

The perfect condition of the severed arm was disconcerting. His bizarre attraction to it was far more concerning to him, however. He had purchased the grisly piece without a second thought or any form of hesitation. If he were to stretch the situation, he may have even described the feeling as possessive in a way. The very thought of the sundered appendage falling into the hands of someone else was unspeakable.

Without his knowledge, time passed swiftly and he found himself standing within the kitchen once again, rag in hand and no imperative chore in mind. Setting the rag down upon the counter, he moved to tug the fabric that had been utilized as a hair elastic from his tresses.

Allowing his hair to sweep over his back in midnight waves, he turned and strolled out of the kitchen and towards the stairs, grabbing his bag from where it leaned against the wall during his embarkment. Ascending to the second floor of the house, he stepped through the short hall and stopped upon a door, opening it and entering into his room once again.

Shutting and locking the door behind him, he lowered his bag at the bedside and stepped over to the closet of his room. Pulling from it a robe, he undressed himself and slipped the soft article of clothing over his body. He then proceeded to fold and keep away the clothes he had previously attired himself in.

After completing the mediocre chore, he returned to the bedside and sat himself down upon the edge of the article of furniture. Lifting his bag, he removed the notebooks and textbooks that he had decided were needful. 

Opening them and laying them upon his bed, he retrieved a pencil from his bag and commenced with the tedious undertaking of studying. The concept of studying was not something that appealed to him; he was a strong believer in learning through living and not through reading and taking notes. Of course, there were people that would passionately disagree with him, namely a certain rabbit whose life seemed to revolve around watching girls and reading books. 

As time progressed, his attention was ultimately stolen, not by his arduous studying, but by the silver and black box that sat upon the bedside table. Subtly, he stole a glance at it before his eyes trailed back to his books. Gritting his teeth in vague irritation at the fact that he was rendered unable to concentrate, he flipped the books shut and slapped them upon the box.

Now that malformed limb was beginning to ire him; distracting him from the studying that he ought to be doing. Clucking his tongue in annoyance, he shifted closer to the center of the bed, crossing his legs and setting his hands in his lap. Perhaps meditation would allow him to concentrate more effectively.

His brow furrowed in slight frustration as his rampaging thoughts refused to still within his mind. His eyes opened to stare at the mellow taupe sheets beneath him. Never had he been so troubled by anything else than he was concerning the deformed limb.

Lifting his frigid gaze to the box, upon which he had biliously dropped his textbooks, he clucked his tongue in vexation. His gaze shifted to the window, eyeing the darkening sky. Slipping from the bed, he stepped over to pull the drapes completely shut.

Biting back a rare yawn that threatened to elicit from his lips without his permission, he stole a fleeting glance at a clock that hung on the wall. Strangely enough, he felt fatigued, despite the fact that he had scheduled for himself to sleep at a later hour and awaken at a precise time in the morning.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he struggled to keep his consciousness. His eyes drifted over to the clock once again, his pale eyelids covering the pale blue orbs as the hour hand settled upon the number eleven upon it. Sinking down onto the sheets, hair splayed out behind him, he fell into an unusually heavy slumber.

His subconscious was permeated by troubling imaginations: of strange and monstrous creatures and many people, some of whom he could recognize, others whom he did not know. The many artifacts and images upon the antiques he had gathered disquieted his mind. 

He saw even he himself, sword in hand, and garbed in a long coat, black in hue with silver trimmings. The rabbit and that girl were present as well in similar uniform, but an illogically large hammer within the grasp of the redhead. He could single out many of his other classmates as well in the midst of their company.

He watched them fight the grotesque creatures with a fervency that burned in his veins, causing him to shift restlessly upon the sheets. However, none of this perturbed him so much as a figure that he could not claim to recognize, yet seemed so familiar.

That boy with the white hair, a curious scar marring the left side of his face. Kanda frowned. Despite watching the events unfold before his eyes as though it were a movie or a theatrical production and he was the spectator, that short-statured boy seemed to stare in his direction as though he could see him.

Why him and not the other person within the realm of his dreams that bore an uncanny resemblance to him, he didn’t know. He found himself fixated by the silver eyes that gazed at him, unblinking. Even now the bloodshed that had befallen the ones surrounding him did not draw his gaze away from the boy, decked in uniform and gloves that covered nearly every inch of his body. 

It seemed that the white-haired boy too realized that this must be a dream of sorts, considering the fact that he made no move to join the battle at hand. To his vague surprise, the other began to step towards him tentatively, hand lifting and reaching out towards him.

As the lips of the shorter male parted, Kanda found himself almost leaning forward slightly in attempts to catch wind of what he would say through the muted screeches of metal and shrieks of pain and anger. Although he could clearly register the movements of the boy’s lips, no sound reached his ears.

The male was now within arm’s reach of him, hand still outstretched and elongated towards him almost hesitantly. With a frown, Kanda shifted uncomfortably to the side, but otherwise made no movement to respond to the advancing of the white-haired boy.

His eyes scanned his surroundings and he caught sight of the one that was so similar to him in appearance running towards them. Unlike the teen before him, the other did not seem aware of his presence, his efforts obviously directed towards the white-haired boy. 

The countenance of his lookalike was no longer as orderly as it had been the last Kanda had sighted him; his clothing was torn and hang from his body in tatters to reveal a large, black tattoo with a symbol that he found inexplicably familiar upon his chest. His hair was no longer flawless black, but a much paler colour. His body was strewn with wounds, but before Kanda’s unaided eyes, they healed themselves at an unrealistically rapid pace.

Frozen, Kanda surveyed the sight of the brandished sword in the hand of the male, much like the one he possessed, but edged in silver, flashing in the clouded sky. His eyes widened slightly as his lips parted but no sound elicited from them. As the weapon ran through the body of the white-haired boy, Kanda flinched at the sensation of blood that sprayed onto his body.

Finding himself unable to move, Kanda could only watch in well-masked horror as the other tugged the blade from the body and reached out to catch the body of the white-haired male before he made contact with the ground. 

Whatever progressed subsequently, Kanda did not remain to witness as the horrified dread that had welled up within him caused his very perception to spiral out of control, leading his vision into a blurring blackness.

His eyes snapped open to stare at the dim ceiling, his breath leaving his throat in tight gasps. Blue orbs flickered to his sides to affirm that he had indeed merely been within a dream. They soon narrowed as he pushed himself into a seated position, running his slender digits through his locks.

Relaxing his tense shoulders, he allowed his eyes to lid over, a prolonged sigh leaving his lips. Opening his eyes once again, he cast yet another glance around his room. His gaze fell upon the box by the side of his bed. He blinked. Perhaps his movements had caused him to knock his books from where he had none too gently laid them to the floor. Bending over, he reached down to retrieve them, stacking them at the foot of his bed. An irked sigh passed his lips as he bit back yet another yawn.

Adjusting to the dullness peculiar to the hours of morning before sunrise, he stole a glance at the clock, noting that he had woken two hours earlier than he had scheduled. Frowning in displeasure, he slipped off the bed and made his way over to the door.

His gaze drifted over to the window, settling upon it for a few moments before he left the room in favour of heading for the bathroom to wash up. 

Exiting the bathroom minutes later with stringy, damp hair and a much more alert countenance, he returned to his room.

Upon entering, his eyes immediately narrowed at the draftiness. He could have sworn the window had been shut for the duration of the night. Stepping over to it, he pulled the drapes open, his eyes surveying the rapidly brightening sky. Perhaps he had been mistaken, he concluded, pulling the window shut. 

Moving over to the closet, he selected from it a casual outfit, comprised of dark pants and an off-white button up shirt. Disrobing himself, he quickly slipped on the clothes and hung his robe within the closet. Tugging open a drawer, he grabbed a cream coloured ribbon, pulling his slightly damp hair into a loose ponytail.

Once again, he headed for his door, grabbing his books and his bag in the process. Slipping from his room, he headed downstairs, flipping a switch to turn on the lights. Heading for the kitchen, he grabbed the kettle and filled it with water before leaving it to boil.

Opening a cupboard, he grabbed a small jar filled with dried green tea leaves. Taking a cup from another cupboard, he ladled the leaves into it. As he waited for the water to boil, he cast a glance at the wall opposite of him. Upon it, hung that cross that was the exact same as the one upon the box within his room.

He wondered just what the relation between the two was. There must have been something. Even in his dream, the uniforms that enrobed many of the people bore that same cross. Perhaps it was a logo of sorts. 

Turning back to the kettle, he pulled it from its stand and emptied the water into his cup, allowing it to steep. He leaned back against the counter, musing on whether he should eat something before leaving. At the heaviness within his stomach, he decided against it.

Straining his tea, he drank it and quickly washed the cup before slinging his bag over his shoulder and making his way out the kitchen and through the hall. After slipping on a pair of shoes, he left the house, locking the door behind him.

Turning to face the street, he noted the the sun hung low in the sky, giving him plenty of time to walk to school. Nevertheless, he wasted no time, breaking into a brisk walk away from his home in his daily commute. 

Due to the earliness of his departure, there was little traffic, much to his pleasure. No doubt it would be busy once he entered the city, but at least he could relish in the small period of silence that existed within the neighbourhood in which he lived. 

As he continued to walk, he couldn’t fight the nagging feeling that he was forgetting something. With a frown, he paused and glanced back in the direction of his house. After a moment’s hesitation, he continued to walk away, relying on his better judgment to not return.

The sun rose higher within the sky as he proceeded into the city, and the sounds of engines and footsteps filled his perception, albeit not as many as there would have been. He was nearly an hour ahead of schedule, and he tended to arrive at the academy’s premises at least a half hour early.

As he stepped past the antique shop, he hesitated before choosing not to make a detour. He would do that later while he commuted back home. 

Upon approaching the school, he found the courtyard to be empty. With a sigh, he waited at the edge of the place for a teacher at the very least; perhaps he shouldn’t have left at such an early hour after all. 

Reaching into his bag, he pulled out one of his notebooks and flipped it open with a faint scowl. He didn’t understand just when in life he would need to understand biology, but he doubted his teacher would sympathize with his sentiments.

As he resumed his previous night’s studies during the morning, the sound of an engine pulling into the driveway met his ears. Glancing up, he found his hopes dashed as not a teacher but a certain redhead jumped from the front seat of the car to the pavement.

“Yuu-chan!” 

“Go die,” Kanda snapped, his mood visibly dropping as the usual greeting reached his ears.

He watched as the redhead opened one of the doors of the car to retrieve a stack of books before traipsing over to him. The teen’s caretaker, an unusually spry elderly man, stared intently at Kanda before driving off. The raven’s frown deepened.

“Yuu, Yuu - check out what I found!” 

It was far too early in the morning to be so cheerful; Kanda scowled at the exclamations of the redhead who half ran towards him, stumbling under the rather large pile of books within his hands. If Lavi assumed that he would read any of the godforsaken things, the teen was sorely mistaken.

“I came early because I know you’re always here early, and I didn’t want anyone bothering me about these,” Lavi continued, dropping the stack into Kanda’s arms. 

Almost doubling over from the unexpected weight, the shorter of the two quickly remedied his balance to remain upright. An annoyed tick formed upon his forehead as he took one of the books, slapping one of the generously weighty articles onto that shock of red hair.

“I arrive early so that no one disturbs me,” he barked irritably, ignoring the whines of the taller teen, who nursed his aching head.

Glancing down at the book, Kanda blinked. Upon the cover of what seemed to be leather was a symbol that he had seen many times prior: a cross with indecipherable inscription.

“I did some research, and I found these,” Lavi explained. “I thought you might want to check them out.”

Upon further scrutiny, Kanda clucked his tongue before dropping the stack of books onto the teen’s head and turning to stride for the doors of the academy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll with hurting my lovely Lavi. I wonder what Kanda makes of the situation so far... A fairly uneventful chapter, but hopefully that'll change ^.^


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for being late -.- And I'm sorry for the low quality in this chapter and I'm just sorry for this mess in general... I'll try to be more punctual and hopefully the next chapter will have better quality...hopefully.  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura

Classes passed uneventfully for Kanda. His test had been far easier than he had expected, leading him to question the worth of his studying. He was avoided by nearly everyone, as per usual, and his locker had been decked with more gifts and letters that would most likely end up disposed of once again.

He found that the annoyance of a rabbit had somehow broken his locker combination and left the books within it. Much to his irritation, he found his interest piqued by them. He retrieved one of the unbecomingly thick tomes from within his locker, and made his way to the courtyard.

A majority of the academy’s students conglomerated within the cafeteria during lunch hours, making it his least favourite place to be within. So often, he tended to be outside during such times. He would be able to occupy himself with the work in his hands this time.

Settling upon the grass a small distance away from the main building, he opened the book. His hand traced the pages of the well cared for publication, noting its obvious age. Why Lavi would entrust him with the work that would clearly sell for copious amounts of money, he didn’t know.

Nonetheless, he didn’t allow the fact to deter him from turning the page and scanning the words written upon it. A frown of intrigue curled onto his lips. 

Within the tome, were writings of an era he had been entirely ignorant of; one that he was certain many people would dismiss as never having existed. It also brought the antecedent night’s dream to mind, falling into eerie harmony with it.

Noting the name of the organization that seemed to be the main focus of the history written within, he found it to be the same as the academy’s. Coincidence or not, it was somewhat unsettling to consider. As he continued to delve into the book’s contents, he discovered many of the antiques he gathered were reminiscent of this obscure era of exorcists and creatures they called ‘akuma’.

Shutting the book in incredulity, he set it aside. It was all too strange. Things such as magic and supernatural power existed only in fiction. If it were real, they would have been educated about it in some way or another. Breathing out, his eyes narrowed as his gaze lifted to the bright sky. 

He would have to remember to ‘thank’ the redhead for his unwanted gift and ‘return’ them to him. Kanda couldn’t be bothered with perusing the remainder of the books, especially not if they contained the selfsame material as what he had discovered in the first.

“Yuu…! Yuu - are you okay?!” the loud and clearly worried cry resounded through the courtyard that he had presumed was empty, save he himself. A tick of annoyance manifested itself upon his forehead as he flashed a glare back at the redhead. 

Lavi slowed to a halt upon drawing closer to him, leaning over and panting as though he had just sprinted from wherever he had been to reach him. Kanda raised an eyebrow. The redhead was unusually disheveled, and seemed genuinely troubled about something.

“What do you want, baka usagi.” 

In response, the taller teen reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, pausing for a few moments before facing the screen towards him with wide eyes. 

Staring at the screen, Kanda froze before his eyes narrowed. Under his name in Lavi’s contacts was a text message that simply read,  _ Lavi?  _

His frown deepening, he opened his bag and rummaged through it for his phone. He never texted anyone and realized that he had little need for the phone that the redhead had granted him on his birthday; how Lavi had found the date still puzzled him to this day.

His hand froze as he realized that was what he had forgotten that morning; his phone had been left within his house, upon his bedside table. His eyes drifted back to the message that was clearly sent from his phone to Lavi. 

“That isn’t me,” he responded simply, his voice guarded. Firstly, he didn’t have his phone within arm’s reach. Secondly, God forbid he would ever address the rabbit by his given name. Ever. May lightning strike him if he did, he hoped. 

The redhead frowned, and looked from Kanda to the message upon the phone to the hand that still rested within his bag. He pocketed his phone, his gaze darkening in puzzlement. 

“Then who was it?” he questioned.

“Che.” Kanda shut his bag before turning back to face the redhead. “I don’t know.” His foster parent did tend to visit at the randomest of times without any forewarning, but even Tiedoll knew who Lavi was, and as far as Kanda could recall, he had no business with the redhead either.

“Yuu…”

“Don’t call me that.”

Standing, Kanda made his way back towards the school building. The only person that it could possibly be was that troublesome Tiedoll, and that was that. He made a mental note to show his ‘appreciation’ for the unwarranted gesture when he returned home. Leaving the situation as was, he returned to the building, making his way through the halls for his next class.

* * *

Kanda was ever so glad that the day of school was finally over. Physical education would be a decent class, were it not co-ed. He was well aware of the attention he gathered, and did not appreciate it in the slightest; as if that was not enough, Lavi had received more texts from his number that clearly could not have belonged to his foster father.

He himself was growing unnerved by the messages, having been conveyed that the sender did not reveal their identity. Being completely certain of the security of his home, Kanda could not say he had even a vague idea as to who it could be.

As he made his way out of the doors of the gym, he was, as expected, pursued by the redhead. This time, however, he did not bother troubling himself with pushing the teen away. He doubted he would receive a moment’s peace if Lavi did not discover the source of his strange messages.

To Kanda’s utter surprise that he could not deny himself, the redhead remained fairly quiet for the duration of their traversing. The raven frowned. If something could unsettle Lavi enough to render him silent, then that something could not be taken lightly. 

Of course, the messages that mainly stated something along the lines of,  _ you don’t know me?  _ may have played a role in it. A weary sigh passed his lips. What irked him most, perhaps, was the fact that someone was somehow trespassing  in his property.

The typical city bustle around him barely registered in his mind as he allowed his instincts to lead him. He was too occupied with wondering just how he would deal with the bastard that had broken into his house and used his phone without his permission.

He frowned. If they had damaged any of his belongings, they could potentially owe him thousands. He didn’t want to bother with trivialities, but he couldn’t allow that to go without doing anything about it. 

Pale blue eyes trailed over to the rabbit beside him, who seemed unusually captivated by his phone, scrolling through some webpage with a slight frown. Kanda’s gaze drifted down to the screen to catch a glimpse of what had captured the redhead’s interest. Unfortunately for him, the glare of the sun prevented him from doing so. 

Feeling bizarrely heavy, Kanda continued to step through the city, passing by the antique shop without sparing it a single glance. Without his knowledge, his pace had grown much quicker until the redhead had to break into a jog to remain at his side.

“Yuu?”

Even with his given name that he was loath to hear ringing through the air around them, Kanda spared no indication of having perceived it, causing the taller of the pair to frown. 

“Yuu!”

Something did not seem right; he could have sworn. Ever since his strange dream that balanced on the periphery of nightmare, Kanda could sense the change in the ambience of his already languorous home; almost as if another presence existed within it.

“Yuu!” 

Kanda was abruptly torn from his thoughts by the hand that grabbed onto his arm, just as he stepped off the curb, prepared to cross the road. His gaze drifted up to the traffic lights, noting the violent red that flashed into his vision. It was immediately accompanied by the speeding of vehicles upon the stretch of asphalt that he had nearly stepped onto. Pulling away from the  redhead’s hand, he scowled, averting his gaze from Lavi’s relieved one. 

“You should seriously pay some attention to where you’re going Yuu,” the emerald-eyed teen admonished with a slightly misshapen grin on his face. Kanda’s only response was a cluck of the tongue. 

Crossing his arms over his chest, he waited impatiently for the light to become green. As soon as it had, he near ran across the road and for the suburban area that he had admitted to being his neighbourhood without another word.

“Wait up! Yuu!” The cry sounded from somewhere behind him, but he paid no mind to it. He may have owed the redhead a favour for preventing him from becoming a malformed mass of blood and organs on the road, but that in no wise meant he would stint his irritated curiosity for much longer.

Skidding to a stop before his house, he noted that he had forgotten to turn off the lights that morning in the living room. He had, however, not recalled having the lights in his bedroom on. With a frown, he pulled the keys from his bag just as the taller teen finally caught up to him.

Opening the door, he stepped stiffly into the house with a frown, dropping his bag by the doorway and slipping off his shoes. Disregarding any form of tact, he strode over to the fireplace and retrieved the sword from the mantel, before stalking up the stairs and to his room.

Throwing open the door, he pulled the sword from its sheath and pointed it at the figure that sat cross-legged on the floor of his room, Kanda’s phone settled within his hands.

“Get out of my house, you bastard!” he snapped, sword pointed towards one of the two silver eyes that stared at him in shock.

The oh-so-delicate words had left his throat before the sight before him truly entered his mind. Once it had, however, his sword nearly dropped from his grip, did his fingers not clench tightly around the hilt, and his eyes widened in astonishment.

“What’s going on Yuu--” Lavi broke in, stopping abruptly behind him. Upon catching sight of what was within his room, the redhead abruptly fell silent in incredulity.

“Kanda..? Lavi?”

The treble voice was raspy, as though it had not been used in a long while, but clearly stated that the boy before him was at least in his teens… although he was unusually short. Kanda’s eyes traced over the now familiar white hair and red scar imprinted upon the left side of his face.

“Who are you…?” Kanda hissed, his gaze fixed upon the male, and his sword still trained precariously before a single silver orb. 

“You really don’t remember me…?” 

“Err….sorry, but I really doubt we’ve met before,” Lavi quickly interjected, being the first to recover from the surprise of the sight of a complete stranger within the home of a person who tended to hate people.

The white-haired teen seemed surprised by the statement, but not as surprised as the raven, who had lowered the black sword and was staring at the boy’s hand in shock. In a self-conscious movement, the stranger hid his hand behind his back, his gaze growing suddenly defensive.

“Who are you?” Kanda repeated harshly, unwittingly taking a step backwards.

“Allen Walker!” the boy yelped almost indignantly, his eyes narrowing up at the two who were staring at him as though he were some sort of intriguing specimen. An almost hurt expression slipped into the silver gaze that stared at the two.

Kanda spared a few moments to flash him a hostile glare before turning and pushing Lavi aside and storming down the hall. 

Sparing a brief glance at the raven, Lavi shrugged apologetically and grinned at Allen, stepping further into the room.

“Sorry about him - he’s normally in a bad mood. You might have chosen the wrong house to break into.”

“I know. And I didn’t break into his house,” the white-haired male responded. “And since when did he have a house…?” Allen’s voice seemed so genuinely interested, it took Lavi aback. The seemingly innocent question should have been regarded as an imbecilic one, especially for someone of his age.

“Ever since he moved…?” Lavi ventured, unsure if that was the response that the teen was searching for. 

Allen stared up at him inscrutably for a few brief moments before frowning thoughtfully. His gaze lowered to his lap as he pondered upon his situation in silence. Finally, he lifted his head once again to look at the taller teen.

“Lavi, what year is it?”

“2016….?”

Allen’s eyes widened, stunned, his gaze growing somewhat blank despite being directed towards the redhead. Lowering his head, he shook it slowly. That couldn’t be right. “That’s a joke… Right?”

“No…?” Lavi tilted his head in mystification. It couldn’t be that much of a revelation, could it? But then again, he could have sworn he had seen the boy’s clothing somewhere before. It was oddly familiar. 

The silence between them was of such great thickness, Allen assumed he would be able to cut through it with a knife. That didn’t necessarily make it comfortable either. 

He frowned and glanced out of the window at the strange world before him. Kanda had a house, and a rather lavish one from the looks of it. Both Lavi and Kanda could not remember him. 

His frown deepened. Another promise broken; his life seemed solely built upon the rubble that had accumulated courtesy of those many broken promises. Breathing out softly, Allen turned to look at Lavi once again.

“Do you really not remember me?” he questioned mildly. 

An apologetic shrug was Lavi’s initial response before a shake of the head. “Sorry - I really don’t think we’ve met before. Are you British? You sound kinda British..”

“I am, but--”

“Awesome! How old are you?”

“Sixteen--”

“Where do you live?”

“Hold up…!” Allen pushed himself to his feet keeping his left arm hidden behind his back and setting Kanda’s phone back upon the bedside table. 

His black coat hung off his short stature in a manner that made it seem a little too large for his thin frame causing Lavi to wonder just when was the last time the boy had eaten. Trimmed in silver and bearing a cross symbol, it didn’t seem like the lightest article of clothing either.

“Say… How do you know me and Kanda anyway?” he questioned, tilting his head slightly. 

“Well…” Allen drifted off, a fresh frown curving onto his pale lips. His lips parted, but no words elicited from them, even as he attempted to speak. 

“And how the hell did you get into my house.”

Allen tensed, his gaze flickering to the door to meet Kanda’s icy blue stare. His gaze narrowed for a few brief moment before growing sad. The emotion was swiftly suppressed by an unreadable expression, but a response was yet to evoke from the mouth of the shorter male.

“I…” 

Kanda stepped into the room and grabbed Lavi’s shoulder, pulling him back and pushing him none too gently out of the door. Flashing the redhead a warning glare, he shut the door behind himself before turning back to the teen.

“Now talk. And explain  _ that. _ ” A long digit directed itself towards the arm hidden behind the white-haired boy’s back. 

“Can’t you at least be a little polite now?” Allen retorted, his tone clearly sour.

“Che. I’ll be polite to whoever I want to be, and you’re not one of them. Moyashi.”

“What did you just call me?!”

“Moyashi. You’re short, you know,” Kanda stated bluntly, lifting his hand and laying it flat upon air before Allen’s head level, a condescendingly irked expression on his face. 

Scowling, Allen slapped the hand away glaring unsubtly at the raven. “It’s  _ Allen, _ ” he enunciated sharply without realizing that the movement had been executed with his left hand. 

Kanda’s hand was pulled back sharply upon contact with that of the white-haired teen, his gaze narrowing in a guarded expression. This...boy was the owner of that--?

Almost disbelievingly, he stepped past the shorter male and to the side table where the black box was situated. Reaching out, he flipped open the object only to find it empty of what it had previously contained. He growled faintly in irritation and reached up to massage his temple.

“What are you?” he questioned tersely. 

“An exorcist,” Allen responded simply, his gaze fixed carefully upon the raven.

“Those don’t exist,” Kanda dismissed with a scowl. “Don’t try to con me, moyashi. I’ll kill you.”

“I guess some things really don’t change,” the white-haired teen responded sardonically, exaggerating an aggravated shrug. “An exorcist from the 1800s.” 

“That isn’t real.” 

“And I’m not real?”

“Hell no.”

“You’re an idiot, you know.”

“Shut up, moyashi.”

“You aren’t denying it.”

“Go die. After you explain your arm.”

“....”

Kanda’s eyes narrowed, his arms crossing over his chest in impatience.

“I don’t know what happened. All I know is that you had my arm. How did you get my arm?”

“Bought it,” Kanda dismissed. “What I want to know is why your arm wasn’t decayed if you’re apparently from the 1800s.” His tone was faintly mocking, but deliberately. Surely the boy couldn’t expect him to believe what he had claimed. It defied any and all logic, therefore it couldn’t be real.

“I don’t know either,” Allen responded honestly.

“You don’t know a lot of things, moyashi.”

“It’s Allen, BaKanda!”

“What did you just call me?!”

“BaKanda! Because that’s who you are!”

“Real mature, moyashi.”

“It’s  _ Allen! _ ”

Kanda scowled. This boy was so similar to the one he had seen in his dream, and yet, so infuriating. He clucked his tongue in annoyance and sat himself down upon the bed, crossing one leg over the other. All of this was ridiculous. 

His gaze drifted from where it bored holes into the carpeted floor to rest upon the boy. To his surprise, the silver orbs no longer glinted with indignation, but seemed almost distressed.

“I didn’t break a promise this time, Kanda,” the teen before him stated, his voice transitioning from irked to monotonous. “But you did.” 

“Che. What are you talking about, moyashi?”

“You promised you’d remember me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm really sorry about this mess, but I hope you enjoyed it to some extent ^.^"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your encouraging support, and thank you very much to the lovely people who commented ^.^ It's very motivating. I'm glad you all would take some time to read this.  
> I'm sure we all pity our poor Allen. I do too. But I love putting him through emotional/physical pain anyway. I'm mean -.-  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura~

The hush that prolonged over the two figures within the room left the simple words of the white-haired supposed exorcist ringing silently through the atmosphere, echoing in the minds of both speaker and auditor. The lull in the air caused Allen to shift somewhat uncomfortably under the piercing gaze of the male before him. 

Kanda’s gaze clearly judged him; he wasn’t all that shocked by how the recent affairs had progressed The situation wasn’t one that he could have expected, and he wasn’t the type that would think so far ahead initially anyway. 

He would have never prevised finding himself in the presence of the raven once again after the circumstances that had occurred at a time that was apparently nonexistent to this current age, much less find both of them and Lavi alive. 

A faint frown remained present upon his lips as he turned his back to the raven in the silence that neither of them had broken and stepped towards the door. If Kanda could not recall his words from so long ago, Allen’s presence had no reason. It admittedly saddened him, but he supposed it was only to be expected. His hand fell upon the doorknob, prepared to leave the room.

“Oi - moyashi.” 

At the voice, he blinked and glanced back at the raven, noting the typical narrow-eyed gaze he was so familiar with. Unable to quickly register the subsequent events, he found something sliding off his face at which it had been hurled. 

Reflexively, he reached out to catch it before it struck the ground, a glare directing itself towards the taller male. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you it’s rude to throw things at other people?” he responded abruptly before glancing down at what was within his hand.

He blinked. Sitting upon the red, sinuous skin was a white glove, much like the ones he had worn before. His gaze drifted up once again to meet that of the raven, who merely crossed his arms and frowned.

“That’s how you show your gratitude? Che.” 

“I doubt you’d be too happy if someone threw something at your face too, BaKanda,” Allen retorted, slipping the glove onto his left hand. He couldn’t hide the barest of smiles that crept over his face, however, as he pulled his sleeve down and flexed his limb. “Thanks, though.”

“Che.”

Typical Kanda. Somehow, despite the ill-mannerisms of the teen, Allen was glad that his personality hadn’t changed a bit, regardless of how infuriating it was at times. He made his way to the door once again, and turned the knob.

“I guess I’ll be staying here for a while,” he announced with a slight shrug.

“Says who?” Kanda retaliated abruptly, his eyes narrowing.

Allen glanced back at him with a weak smile. “I doubt I have anywhere else to go at the moment, and you’re here. So I’ll stay here.” Turning back for the door, he stepped out of the room, leaving Kanda dumbfounded. He knew he was imposing, but there were some things he couldn’t readily relinquish. 

Striding into the hallway, he found Lavi standing against the wall. At the sight of him, the taller teen grinned and stepped over.

“So it really is true,” the redhead sighed, following him as he made his way to the flight of stairs that led to the ground floor. 

“What do you mean?” 

“What the books said. About exorcists and things.”

Allen paused. “You mean you actually believe all that?” he questioned. Lavi grinned.

“These days you can’t believe everything you read, but my sources are alway accurate~” he chirped cheerily. “That’s so cool, you know. Living at that time and all… I wish I could have lived during another time too. Although I still don’t get how you’re here right now if you’re from back then”

Allen’s gaze lowered and a faint smile curled onto his lips. “I guess it would seem nice,” he mused. “And I don’t understand it either. I just…woke up, you could say, and found myself here.” A chuckle passed his lips. 

As much as he would have loved to tell Lavi that he too had existed within the same era as he himself, Allen restrained himself. The redhead seemed perfectly content with the life he currently possessed, and Allen would not alter anything about it. After all, what was past had no place in altering the future; that was the job of the present.

Kanda however….Kanda was another case entirely. Even as he stepped onto the ground floor, the sights that greeted his eyes were reminiscent of a much less pleasant time. It was clear that the raven was indeed under a different type of curse; one that he and Kanda had formulated together unwittingly.

“Say, does Kanda have food that isn’t soba here?” Allen questioned, padding towards the kitchen as he recalled how hungry he was. After all, he still possessed his arm, leading him to question the events of the past, and resulting in his near insatiable appetite.

Opening the refrigerator, he glanced through its contents, his features quickly relaxing into a deadpan. Shutting the appliance, he glanced back at Lavi, who shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “Yeah - I keep telling him to eat better too. I’ll just order a pizza or something.”

“You can do that?” Allen questioned, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. The redhead nodded and pulled out his phone, fiddling with it for a few moments. 

“Yep. You can do a lot of things with phones these days. What sort of pizza do you want?” he questioned. “They have a lot of different types…”

“Anything,” Allen quickly interjected. He hadn’t realized the complications of living in a modernized world prior, as he had been far too occupied in trying to piece his predicament into a sensible train of thought. “But...err… How large do they make them…?”

The redhead seemed to already be in the process of talking to someone, provoking Allen to fall silent so as not to disturb Lavi. He wondered what else you could do on phones these days. Apparently you could communicate without talking - that he had discovered on his own. You could also order pizza which, to him, was a valuable asset.

As soon as Lavi had pocketed his phone once again, Allen tilted his head slightly in wordless inquiry. 

“Just got an extra large pepperoni,” the teen stated with a thumbs up. “You look like you need to get meat into your system, you’re so skinny,” he teased. 

It wasn’t completely false, Allen realized. He had indeed grown thinner than usual, and not in a healthy manner either. Even his coat didn’t manage to hide the fact all that well, hanging off his body loosely. He laughed sheepishly.

A thought suddenly came to mind, causing him to pause. He stared at the redhead for a few moments before opening his mouth. “So you two live by yourselves here?” he questioned curiously. Lavi shook his head.

“No - no, this is Yuu’s house. He legally owns the place, which is kind of cool, but he lives alone here. I live with my old man a little farther away from here.”

“Do you like books?” he continued to inquire, watching the emerald-eyed male carefully. So Lavi was still with Bookman in this life too, he realized. It was strange to think about; all the people he knew were alive and completely unaware of their previous existences.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Lavi affirmed. “The geezer’s a historian so our house is filled with books. I read a lot.”

Allen smiled. Not much had changed despite the fact that so much had changed. He had ceased attempting to understand it all; he was well aware that he was not the smartest of people. If he tried to conform to the norms of this era within a day of being in it, he doubted he’d succeed.

“How about you? What were things like back then?” the taller of the two questioned, leaning against the counter within the kitchen and tilting his head questioningly. 

“Well, honestly, it was a little like hell,” he responded. “We did have some nice times together, but there were the times where we needed to fight and kill, and see our loved ones die… At times we had to kill loved ones too…” he drifted off, his gaze darkening.

“You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Lavi quickly assured. “What kind of things to you like?” he transitioned quickly,  to Allen’s gratefulness.

“Food,” he answered immediately and unabashedly. “My friends, spending time with my friends, playing cards…” he drifted off. If he did begin to ramble he was certain he would say the one thing that would jeopardize his current position: the name of the raven that sat upstairs.

“Speaking of which, that should be the delivery man,” the redhead interpolated, striding out of the kitchen and towards the door. 

Allen watched in curiosity as Lavi paid the delivery man before thanking him, taking the pizza and shutting the door. Stepping back into the kitchen, the redhead set the box upon the counter. 

“Yuu! I ordered pizza - do you want some?” he hollered towards the stairs. 

“Say my name one more time and I’ll kill you, usagi!” came the response, followed by an irate raven, who stalked down the staircase with the main purpose of carrying out his threat as opposed to eating.

“Awesome!” Lavi sang, opening the box of pizza. 

Allen could have fainted from the scent of food after an apparent rough two centuries of being completely out of commission. Swallowing the saliva that pooled gracelessly upon his tongue, he resisted the urge to drool. 

Lavi retrieved paper towels and took a slice, handing it to Allen with a grin. “If you want any more, feel free to take some,” he invited before taking a slice for himself and glancing over at Kanda. 

“Tch. I’m not hungry,” the raven dismissed, stepping over to the cupboards with the goal of making himself some tea in mind. 

“I can take another one, right?” Allen interjected, watching the two with a slight smile. 

“Sure you ca-- wait - you’re already done?!” Lavi yelped, his eyes widening at the paper towel in Allen’s hand, lacking in any trace of crumb. Allen nodded sheepishly. 

“Just take more if you want more,” the redhead permitted amicably. Allen paused.

“Are you sure…?” he questioned hesitantly. The redhead nodded. 

“Go ahead~”

Allen nodded before helping himself to another oversized slice. Followed by another. And another. The two others present within the kitchen had to merely pause and stare at the unrealistic scene of such a small boy devouring the food that had been provided with ease.

Within mere minutes, the entire dish had disappeared, the only slice that remained being the forgotten one that was nestled within Lavi’s hand. Allen wiped his lips with the unsoiled half of the paper towel before  casting a glance around the kitchen.

Sighting the garbage bin, he stepped over to it and dropped the used paper towel into it before glancing back at Lavi with a smile. “Thanks for the meal,” he called, voice filled with genuine gratitude. He wondered how the two would react if he told them his appetite was not yet satiated. 

“No...problem,” Lavi responded, still somewhat stunned after seeing the exploit of the white-haired ostensible exorcist. 

By then, Kanda had managed to make his tea and was now sipping it in morose silence. Allen turned away and allowed himself a smile. The scene was both alien and familiar to him at the same time. They were missing many other people that would have made it a more usual spectacle, but he couldn’t complain.

“So… What do you two do?” he questioned subsequently to containing himself and turning to look at the pair. 

“We go to school,” Lavi responded. “We have to study before we try and get into universities and take courses that qualify us for jobs.”

The expression of puzzlement on the British boy’s face caused Kanda to sigh resignedly and vaguely roll his eyes. Lavi merely laughed. 

“Maybe you can come with us tomorrow and see for yourself,” he invited. Kanda raised an eyebrow.

“Is that even legal, usagi,” he deadpanned.

The redhead shrugged. “Well it’s not like he’ll actually be going to school full-time at the moment, right?”

“Che.”

The redhead flashed a grin at Allen. “So would you like to go to school with us tomorrow?” he questioned. Allen hesitated before nodding in response and smiling back.

“Sure.”

A scowl curled onto Kanda’s lips as he clucked his tongue in aggravation. “You’re not freeloading in my house, moyashi. If you’re going to stay, you’re going to pay.” Both Allen and Lavi turned to stare at the irate raven, one in puzzlement, the other with a frown. 

“You can’t expect him to get a job and pay just like that, Yuu - he’s only sixteen!” Lavi reasoned with a frown. The long-haired male shot a glare at the redhead. 

“Do you want to die?”

“If you really want me to, then I will,” Allen interjected with a sigh. “It shouldn’t be too much of a problem.” He shifted uneasily under the stares of the two before shrugging. “I’m used to being in debt,” he informed, his tone darkening slightly.

“You do know that isn’t a good thing, right…?” the redhead ventured. 

Allen’s head lowered, his bangs shadowing his eyes in a manner that seemed almost sinister. A rakish smirk tore its way over his lips as he chuckled darkly. “Oh, I know,” he replied. “You know what else isn’t a good thing? My worthless master.”

The two could have sworn they could view a black aura surrounding the white-haired boy and horns elongating from either side of his head. 

“....I think you should let him off the hook this time, Yuu,” Lavi hissed nervously. The raven merely turned his head to the side and clucked his tongue in annoyance, his elbow jutting out to stab the unsuspecting redhead in the ribs.

“I told you to never call me that,” he snapped. 

At the sight of the exchange, the ominous shadows that had fluttered about the body of the apparent exorcist dissipated and a smile replaced it. Allen relaxed, sighting something he was familiar with, although he did have to wonder if Lavi’s reflexes had become worse. The redhead was habitually accustomed to predicting the reactions of Kanda and avoiding them, after all.

The thought only served to remind him that the two were not the two he had once known, and that saddened him. He supposed that it was only to be expected, but the circumstance in which he found himself directed against his favour.

They were the same, he knew, but their memories had been suppressed. In a way, he was glad for that; they had all suffered unimaginably back then, and deserved to begin anew without remembrance of such events nowadays. It would be selfish of him to wish otherwise.

Yet, he could not shake the nagging hurt that pricked his chest at the thought of Kanda, of all people, forgetting him. It was unfounded, he realized, as he could not have expected the raven to remember everything, but he had allowed the assumption to slip into his mind that he meant something to Kanda that could defy the laws of reality.

If Kanda truly could remember nothing of him, his identity itself was placed in jeopardy. The world no longer had need of exorcists from what he had gathered so far, and he was merely a somatic phenomenon. A sigh passed his lips. 

It truly should not have pained him so; he had Kanda once again, and that should have been sufficient. It wasn’t. It wasn’t sufficient at all, he contended, his jaw tightening slightly. He wanted Kanda back. His Kanda: the one that loved him. 

This was Kanda, he knew, thus he could not deny his obvious affection for the raven, but the teen did not seem to want anything to do with him. Again. 

Allen was unsure as to whether he had the patience to start afresh. Perhaps Kanda had lost whatever attachment he had once felt, and would never regain it. Somehow, that thought hurt most of all. As much as Allen hated to admit it, he felt hollow at the very notion.

“-llen?”

The white-haired boy blinked, his gaze focussing upon the tallest of them who stared at him worriedly. He tilted his head in question. Lavi grinned and chuckled slightly.

“Sorry - you kinda zoned out and I was getting a bit worried there.” 

Allen smiled reassuringly. “I’m fine, Lavi; I promise.” He almost winced at his choice of words. He was beginning to develop a certain animosity towards promises. They were nothing but paper-thin words that were both created and broken for the sake of convenience.

His silver gaze drifted over to Kanda, who was still pointedly looking away from both him and the redhead. A frown passed his for the briefest of moments before dissipating into a neutral expression. 

“All right then. I’d better leave now before the old man makes me dust the books or something,” Lavi chirped cheerily, making his way out of the kitchen. The teen flashed them a brief half-salute and padded down the hall. “See you guys tomorrow~”

“Until then,” Allen responded pleasantly, waving back in turn. 

“Che.”

The sound of the door opening and shutting signalled the departure of the redhead, leaving the two remaining persons within the kitchen once again strung amidst an unsettled silence. Allen stole brief glances at the raven, who still spared not a single glance in his direction. 

Finally, the complete silence was broken by footsteps as Kanda retrieved the empty pizza box and disposed of it. The execution was followed by striding over to the stairs and ascending them. Not a word left the lips of the raven as he disappeared from Allen’s range of sight, leaving the white-haired teen standing within the kitchen, staring at the flight of stairs.

Allen waited in silence until he heard no more sound from upstairs, save the opening and shutting of what he assumed to be Kanda’s bedroom door. His lips pressed into a thin line as he tore his gaze away from the staircase.

Strange - a burning sensation had begun to agitate his eyes. He stared down at his gloved hand, protected from scrutiny by the article of clothing that Kanda had given him, before allowing it to curl into a loose fist. He swallowed the dryness within his throat, his teeth gritting.

No doubt Kanda would have mocked him for being unable to repress his emotions but then proceed to make certain that he did not cry. Unfortunately, he had only himself this time, and that was not strong enough to suppress the droplets of water that pressed incessantly at the corners of his eyes.

Burying his face in his hand, he choked out a soft sob, a tear spilling from his eye. Was it truly too great a plea to ask for when he had given the simple request of “Remember me,” to the raven? He could handle Lavi’s words of “I don’t think we’ve met before,” with grace. However, to hear Kanda deny not only knowing him, but his existence itself brought about pain beyond description.

Leaning against the counter to prevent himself from sinking to his knees on the cold, tiled floor, he allowed himself a moment’s weakness that no one would see, hot tears of sorrow and betrayal sliding down his pale skin, reddening it.

It was selfish of him. He was well aware of it. And yet, it was the only thing he so desperately wanted: he wanted Kanda back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allen needs a hug. Specifically a hug from Kanda. And a lot more food than just an extra large pepperoni pizza.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 5, dear readers~ Thank you very much for putting up with me and my inadequate writing skills, and for giving all your wonderful encouragement~ ^.^  
> We've seen from Allen. What does Kanda make of the situation?  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura~

As Kanda pulled his novel from his bag to read through the designated chapters and complete his English homework, he paused. He was already seated upon his bed, garbed in robe and hair allowed loose over his back, but something still felt out of place.

“Che.” A lot of things felt out of place as of late. It should have come across as no surprise. Settling himself back against the headboard, he flipped the novel open, scanning through the pages. Once again, he paused, casting another glance around the room.

His gaze settled upon the box that laid upon his bedside table. A faint growl of annoyance elicited from his throat. It was empty now, so he supposed he ought to bring it downstairs, as it needed no other specified care any longer.

Dropping the book onto the bed, he slid off the article of furniture while grabbing hold of the black and silver box. Stepping over to the door, he quietly opened it. Slipping from his room, he began to stroll through the hall and for the stairs.

Before he could descend, however, faint sound caused his feet to stop in their tracks. His eyes narrowed as he traced the sound to its source. They proceeded to widen at the sight of the white haired boy, still within the kitchen, crying.

His gaze lowered to the carpeted ground before he set the box by the wall and executed an about-face, striding away from the staircase and heading for his room once again. The sight only served to trigger something within him that he couldn’t identify.

Shutting himself within his room once more, he shrugged off the persistent nagging and retrieved his book once again. Settling down upon the bed, he began to scan the pages tiredly without any genuine motivation.

He discovered that his concentration refused to immerse itself within the work in his hands, much to his displeasure. Regardless, he persevered obstinately until he had completed the task at hand. Reading over his work, he grimaced, but opted to leave it as it was. He would prefer to waste as little time possible on trivialities such as homework.

Delving through his bag once again, he pulled from it a workbook. Riffling through the pages, he found, to his annoyance, he could not focus, namely because of a certain beansprout that intruded his thoughts uninvited. And his home, he added as an afterthought.

Honestly, the story that the white-haired boy had conjured up was completely and utterly ridiculous it had made Kanda want to laugh, was he not outright galled by the situation. He had never taken well to people in general, and to find some sprout in his house that couldn’t fabricate a decent excuse that explained his presence did not help Kanda’s perception of him.

A fragment of his mind, however, could not free himself of the unabating inkling that it might - just might - be true. His eyes narrowed as his gaze grew sharper. If only he could murder that sneaking suspicion. It was far too occult.

He’d have to take up the matter with Marie if this persisted. After all, if the cause of the teen’s emergence was truly from the arm that he had purchased on a whim, then the man should have some degree of knowledge as to why it had occurred as such.

Biting back a vexed sigh, he dropped his workbook into his bag without so much as penning a single word into it, and slipped off the bed. Running a hand through his hair and pulling stray locks behind his ear, he tentatively strode towards the door.

But for now, unfortunately, the bean was his charge, and he doubted he was up to being taken to court for neglect. Reaching for the doorknob, he twisted it and opened the door quietly. Slipping out into the hall, he retrieved the silver and black box.

The sounds of quiet sobbing had subsided by then, for which he was inexplicably relieved. Stepping into the living room, he set the box down upon the table before clearing his throat. The shorter male started, clearly not having noticed his presence.

“Moyashi.”

“It’s Allen.”

Kanda’s eyes drifted over the features of the white-haired boy, noting the redness of his eyes and faintly flushed skin, as well as the faint hoarseness of his response. Clucking his tongue, piqued, Kanda strode into the kitchen, passing the shorter male.

Grabbing a glass from a cupboard, he filled it with cold water before turning and setting it down on the counter before Allen. Stepping past him once more, he trailed back to the staircase, casting a brief glance at the teen, who seemed vaguely surprised by his actions.

“Hurry up and drink,” he commanded bluntly. “The guest room is farthest down the hall and there should be a conjoined bathroom in there.”

Ascending the steps, Kanda approached closet doors that stood within the hall. Opening them, he searched through a few shelves before settling on a wooden box. Grabbing said box, he shut the doors of the closet and re-entered his room.

Once again, he secured himself within his room. He laid the box upon his bed before traversing to his closet. Looking through it, he pulled from it a three button-up shirts, neutral in colour, and two pairs of pants.

Bringing the articles of clothing to his bed, he lifted the lid of the box to reveal tailoring implements. Grasping a needle between his thumb and index finger, he tugged it from its place before quickly threading it with ease. Snipping the string, he knotted the ends.

Settling the needle between his lips, he took one of the shirts and stretched it out before himself, eyeing it critically. He frowned, retrieving his scissors. Carefully, he cut through the fabric, gaze sharp and analyzing before setting the scissors down and plucking the needle from where it lay between his pale lips.

Carefully, he began to sew, keeping his stitches small, but precise. His eyes flashed briefly to the door at the sound of footsteps, but they soon passed, presumably to the guest room at the end of the hall. His blue gaze drifted back to the shirt as he pulled the string into a knot and severed it.

Repeating the process multiple times, he was rendered unaware of the passing time  despite the drapes of his window hanging open and the sky darkening at a rapid pace. He finally set the instrument down and held up the shirt with a calculating frown.

Deeming it decently fitted, he folded it and set it aside before progressing onto the second shirt and doing the same. It was near midnight when he had finished his work with the article of clothing, he proceeded to work with the two pairs of pants, finding them much easier to deal with, and thus, finishing much quicker.

Biting back a yawn, he returned the needle to its place and lidded the box before stacking the folded clothes neatly, one atop the other. His eyes drifted to the scraps of fabric that he had trimmed from the clothes. His fingers encircled the scissors which promptly sheared the scraps into strips. There was no use in wasting if he could make use of them as hair ties.

Packing away the last of the instruments, he stood and grasped the strips of fabric before striding over to the closet and disposing of them atop a shelf with the many other hair ribbons. Hesitating momentarily, he advanced to take hold of some vibrantly coloured neckties that Lavi had gifted him with the reason of him ‘needing more variety in his wardrobe’ and shut the closet door.

Draping the accessory over the stack of clothing, he lifted the pile and stepped over to the door. He opened it and quietly made his way down the now dark hall. Setting the clothes before the shut door of the guest room, he knocked thrice, sharply, before returning to his room without bothering to wait.

He’d be damned if that beansprout wore those conspicuous clothes in public. He didn’t require any more attention than what was already being granted him, and if that meant he had to slave over his own property once again so he did not spend money, then so be it.

Pulling his hair behind his back, he glanced down at the workbook, still unfinished, within his bag. Grumbling softly in dissatisfaction, he glanced at the clock. Never once had he found himself behind schedule until now. Unfortunately, he found it needful to retain his early rise and departure. He would finish it once he arrived at the academy tomorrow.

Setting the box of sewing implements upon his side table, he shut off the lights and pulled the covers over his body, allowing his eyes to close. It was midnight on the dot, and high time that he slept.

* * *

Kanda awakened to the strange sight of a place he did not recognize: a stone building with an ominous air. Sitting up, he took in his surroundings. It was a plain room that he sat within, lacking in furnishings save a table and a chair at one end of the room, and the bed at the other.

Upon the table, he noted, laid a sword. He could have sworn it was the very one that he possessed. It was accompanied by an hourglass, within which was a pale pink lotus. As he viewed it for a few moments, one soft petal fell from the bloom to land upon the base of the hourglass and join the many other petals that had already fallen.

Lowering his gaze, he started slightly to find a familiar figure laying by his side, still in the peaceful realm of slumber. His immediate instinct was to push the white-haired male out of the bed and attack him with a slew of choice words, but he fought against the urge and opted to remain still.

A soft groan passed his lips. Where was he, and why was that boy in his bed? Or was he in Allen’s bed. He wasn’t sure. Either way, this had to be a dream. There was no chance at all that it was real.

“Mm..? Kanda?”

His gaze drifted back down to the shorter male who had begun to stir, the murmured words passing his lips. Kanda frowned faintly as silver eyes revealed themselves to him, followed by a chuckle and a slight smile. The white-haired teen lifted an arm and ran his fingertips over Kanda’s cheek, causing the raven to tense.

 _What. Was. That_. He stared incredulously at the teen, who didn’t seem to notice his tension.

Allen proceeded to push himself into a seated position and stretch, revealing his sinewy left arm, a groan passing his lips. As Kanda stared, stunned, the white-haired boy drew closer to him and planted a light, almost teasing peck on his lips.

His mind was screaming at him to shove the teen away from himself and demand an explanation for the unprecedented events, but his body didn’t seem to wish to obey him.

Allen slipped out of the bed, grinning in his direction. “Morning, Kanda~ It’s a good day to be alive~” he sang, silver eyes drifting over to the window.

“Che. You’re far too happy in the morning, moyashi,” he responded. He stopped short. That wasn’t what he wanted to say. It had elicited itself unwanted from his lips. However, the apparent exorcist did not seem to notice - or care, if he did notice - instead laughing.

“And you’re far too sour in the morning, Kanda.”

“I’m normal.” The response was spoken with a hint of jest, causing Kanda to wonder just if he truly had control over his body. None of his actions and reactions were equal to what he had portrayed in his mind.

“I’ll go wash up first - give me a bit,” Allen announced, opening a door and slipping in. Kanda merely nodded in response.

This was strange. This wasn’t real. This was a dream. Why would he dream something so strange? Kanda’s mind was spinning with questions that no one could answer as he body stepped off the bed and made his way over to the window.

He took in the sight before him. The room which he inhabited was rather far up, he realized. They seemed to reside on an island of sorts, and from the sounds of things, they were not alone. He drew in a breath before turning and stepping towards the door that Allen had disappeared into.

Opening it, he noted the familiar onsen style, and began to undress, wrapping a towel around his waist. Proceeding to the bath, his eyes caught sight of Allen, already sitting within and splashing his face with water, presumably to drive away a sleep-induced daze.

Kanda would have frowned, did he have any control over his body. He wasn’t going to bathe with the beansprout, was he? His suspicions were confirmed, much to his chagrin, as he pulled off the towel and stepped into the bath.

The shorter male pulled his hair back and out of his face, allowing it to plaster to his head with water. As Kanda watched, the exorcist reached out , fingers barely running through his own dark locks. Kanda wished that he could slap the pale hand away, but unfortunately that was not the case.

“Can I wash your hair, Kanda?”

_Hell no._

“Che. Do it wrong and I’ll kill you, moyashi.” Once again, his will went unheeded by his body. That faintly affectionate tone too; it made him near want to scream in frustration, were he the type that screamed in frustration.

“Of course you will,” the said ‘moyashi’ responded with teasing irony. “You love me~”

Kanda could have doubled over from shock alone. Was that what had transpired? He and Allen were in a romantic relationship of sorts, from what he had deduced. He would have frowned. He didn’t even know the boy - it wasn’t possible.

As he turned his back to the white-haired teen, he felt mismatched hands run through his locks with a gentleness that he had never once felt before. It surprised him, to say the least; so much so, that he could not formulate a sensible thought in his mind.

Warm water touched his scalp followed by the familiarly cool sensation of shampoo. Despite the inhumanly long nails of the teen’s left hand, not a single scratching sensation was registered as the solution was massaged softly into his scalp. He could virtually see the smile of the shorter male, despite having his back turned to Allen.

The only sounds that evoked from the scene was the light breaths of the two and the slight splashing of water as they shifted subtly every now and then. Kanda began to find himself relaxing mentally as well as physically from the soothing hands of the British boy.

Soon enough, water once again cascaded from his head and down his back as Allen rinsed his hair thoroughly and combed his nails gently through the long tresses.

He internally tensed once again at the softness against his jaw as he glanced back slightly, revealing the fact that it was Allen’s lips barely gliding over his jaw in a subtle motion. He would have grimaced. What was this? Why was he acting this way around that boy?

As he held steady, his body twisted and an arm raised itself to bury slender digits in the water-slicked locks of the teen, pulling him down for a proper kiss with an equal gentleness and no form of aggression whatsoever. Kanda would have locked himself into a small space from embarrassment.

As they parted, the raven felt an alien curl upon his lips and realized that he was _smiling_ of all things, the expression directed towards Allen, who mirrored his expression.

“It’s a good day to be alive, Kanda,” the white-haired teen repeated his previous words once again. The raven was beginning to wonder if there was some implication behind the words that he was beginning to grow used to.

“....yeah,” was the simple response that he gave. He then moved to grasp the soap and quickly wash himself, noting that Allen too did the same, before both of them stepped out from the still faintly steaming water.

Kanda dried himself off swiftly and exited the room with his towel wrapped around his waist, nightclothes draped over his arm. He promptly stepped over to a closet and hung the robes before pulling out clothing that was strangely familiar.

He identified it as the same uniform that Allen had worn: black and silver with that cross hanging from it. He inwardly frowned. It was the uniform for the Black Order that he had read about. If Allen was part of this Black Order, and he was present here too, did that infer that he too was a member of the Black Order?

….he was an _exorcist?_

As he slipped on the articles of clothing, Kanda realized that they were indeed as weighty as he had suspected. Frankly, he almost pitied the people that had to wear the things each day. He grabbed his sword and hung it at his hip before glancing back to see Allen slip into his uniform as well.

Around the head of the white-haired male, flew a strange creature that Kanda couldn’t claim to recognize. It was a strange sphere-shaped thing with what seemed to be horns, legs, wings, and a tail. No facial features were made known upon it, and it’s only defining features were it’s bright yellow hue and marking in the shape of an ornamental cross upon it.

“Komui said that it’s going to be the battle that will decide the course of the rest of the war,” the shorter male stated, flexing the fingers of his left hand experimentally.

Kanda hadn’t the slightest clue of what Allen was speaking of. All that he had read was washed from his brain. Apparently there was a war. And they were part of it.

“Who needs to decide the course of the rest of the war if we can end it,” Kanda responded abruptly, resulting in a dry chuckle from the white-haired teen.

“Easier said than done.” Allen pulled open the door that led out of the room, revealing a corridor. Kanda stepped out into said corridor, followed by the shorter teen.

They both fell into silence as they proceeded down the corridor; where they were headed, Kanda didn’t know. However, his body did seem to know. Resigning from the control he was aware he would never obtain while trapped here, he allowed his feet to lead.

Soon enough, they reached a large hall that appeared to be a dining hall. As it so boiled down, there were many people already within, eating. As his sharp gaze raked over the expanse, he sighted some people that he recognized, and many that he did not.

He stepped over to where the kitchen seemed to be, and was met by a person he didn’t remember. A somewhat lanky man with pale hair and shades. In a monotone, he ordered his tempura soba and green tea. At least there was one thing he was familiar with in this place, albeit food and not his company.

He took his food as soon as it was - surprisingly quickly - prepared and settled down at a table. He was immediately joined by two, namely the girl and the rabbit, who too were clothed in uniform similar to his own.

“Morning Yuu-chan~ you look a little less grumpy today!”

“Do you want me to castrate you, baka usagi?!” Kanda found his sword unsheathed and buried in the bench where Lavi had been seated mere seconds before. So some things didn’t change after all. He pulled the sword from the bench and sheathed it once again.

“Never mind - you’re still as grumpy as always~”

“Did you rest well?” Lenalee quickly interjected, slapping her hand over Lavi’s mouth before he could seal his fate. “We’ll need all the energy we can get.”

“No worries, Lenalee~ we’ve rested plenty,” Allen assured, pushing his cartful of food over to the table. Kanda turned to look at him, and would have gawped in shock at the amount of food that the white-haired boy had ordered. Was it physically possible to eat that much, and in the morning no less?

“Oh, that’s good,” she replied with a smile.

Kanda found himself beginning to eat in an almost sullen silence despite the abnormal scene he found himself roped in. None of their company seemed to find it strange however, as Allen began to dig into his meal with a burning passion.

He remained wordless for the remainder of the meal, as Lenalee had focussed her attention on silencing the redhead each time he seemed prepared to wisecrack. Soon, he finished his simple fare and drank the remainder of his tea.

Setting his chopsticks down, he sat in silence, his gaze turning to stare at the white-haired male, who was halfway through his massive repast, and still continuing strong. That yellow creature too had somehow sprouted a mouth, and was snapping at bits and pieces of the teen’s meal.

“Say, Kanda, I need to ask you a favour,” Allen stated, pausing briefly before continuing to eat. “I need--”

* * *

"Wake up, Kanda…!"

The raven snapped awake at the disturbance, only to find a certain white-haired beansprout standing above him, hand upon his shoulder. His gaze drifted to the clock only to realize that he had nearly awoken late. As he sat up, the hands of the clock shifted to four and twelve respectively.

….how did Allen know his sleep schedule?

“Sorry - I thought you wouldn’t be too happy if you woke up late,” Allen apologized, stepping back. He then proceeded to bow with obvious reluctance. “Thanks for the clothes,” he added.

“Che.”

Kanda wasn’t sure if he should express some form of gratitude or throw something at the white-haired teen for intruding on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my~ Kanda must be so confused about...everything. And I have a headcanon that Kanda is really brusque and rude at times, but he's an expert at anything that requires a nimble hand and a lot of attention to detail~ forgive me for putting that in here -.-


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 - done ^.^" I have no idea what happened - this was not what I intended to write...it just happened. I am slightly disturbed, but ah well. I'll just put it up for the sake of it. Thank you all for your support thus far, and I do hope you continue to enjoy~  
> Allen goes to school~~~ Yay. Or not..?  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura~

Allen had not spared even a few minutes of the night for sleep, despite allowing himself the luxury of inhabiting the guest room of Kanda’s home. It was furnished with the bare minimum that common courtesy required, but it was much more than Allen would have expected from the raven, considering how pitifully bare his room within the Headquarters was.

At the sound of sharp knocking, he had hesitated for the shortest of moments before traversing across the room to open the door. He had expected Kanda to be impatiently awaiting him, but that was not the case; however, he did realize that a set of clothing had been disposed at the door.

The white-haired teen's initial reaction was to wonder if the articles were meant for him. After all, Kanda was currently in no way obligated to provide for him, as he had unwittingly intruded into the raven’s abode, and said raven could not even recall who he was.

Nonetheless, he retrieved the clothes and shut the door once again. Treading back for the bed, he wondered if the clothes belonged to Kanda. If they did, he strongly doubted they would fit him; after all, he was of regrettably short stature, and his friends never allowed him to hear the end of it. 

Unfolding the clothes, he was surprised to see that they were indeed his size, or at least as close to his size as they could become. A faint smile crossed his lips as he once again folded the clothes and set them upon the bedside table that he had been provided with.

Sliding down onto the carpeted floor, back leaning against the bed, Allen stared up at the ceiling. He was bemused by the circumstance he found himself in, and found himself uncertain of how he should conduct himself with the raven.

He couldn’t pretend to be someone he was not - he had never attempted such, and he was well aware that he would fail miserably, did he try. He could not dissimulate his affections under the guise of a stranger, although the last thing he wished for was for Kanda to find him tiresome and abandon him indelibly. 

Perhaps it had been naive of him to surmise that the raven would remember him. After all, the words of one insignificant person had no effect in the grand scheme of life. Just because he had spoken it did not mean it could happen, as little as he wished to admit it.

Life could be cruel regardless of which era one lived in, he concluded. There was nothing he had the ability to do at the current moment but wait, albeit impatiently. He could allow the fact that Kanda was here to keep him grounded, and perhaps he could even dare to hope that one day Kanda would remember him.

Pulling his knees to his chest, he allowed his head to rest against them and his eyes to close. He knew he could think and plan all he wished, but in the end, the one who controlled his current fate was none other than Kanda himself. The possibility of having to rebuild his life altogether was there, did the raven choose to desert him.

How he would do such a thing, he didn’t know. Perhaps it wasn’t even possible. Regardless, he was certain that his arm had been purchased by Kanda for a reason, and that was one more thing that could root him to this place until his tentative future had been decided.

Allowing his eyes to slide open slightly, he breathed out a sigh. He had never realized how lonely it was to pass a day where he could not spend precious moments with his friends, and most importantly, Kanda. It left him void and somewhat isolated.

Lost in the realm of his own thoughts, he nearly did not notice the minutes that ticked past at a surprisingly quick pace, the night waning and the sky beginning to brighten. It was only when an innate instinct within him caused him to flash a glance at the clock that he realized it was decidedly close to the time where the raven would awaken.

Not wishing to burden Kanda, he was quick to slip out of his exorcist uniform and into the clothes that had been provided, leaving the last two buttons undone at his collar and pulling a red tie loosely over the ensemble. 

The articles of clothing were slightly different compared to what he was accustomed to, but he knew it was only to be expected. They weren’t too uncomfortable; he could grow used to them without too much problem.

Laying his uniform out over the bed, he proceeded to stretch out his arms, a soft groan passing his lips. It would be  interesting to see what life was like these days. Exceedingly different, no doubt. They did possess strange advanced technology that even Komui didn’t have, after all.

He blinked cattishly, his gaze drifting over to the window. He wondered if Kanda was awake yet. Most likely. After all, the taller male was rarely - if ever - off a strict schedule that he kept. 

Stepping over to the door, Allen left the room and traversed down the hall to where Kanda’s bedroom was. Knocking gently, so as not to cause a disturbance, he awaited the response of the raven. It would not be too much to assume that Kanda was in an ill mood.

After roughly a minute of silence, Allen knocked once again, louder. With a slightly frown, he chanced twisting the handle of the door and pushing it open ever so slightly, wincing at the creaking that emitted from the hinges as he did so.

Even as the door was opened wide enough for him to step through, he received no response from the raven. Surely Kanda could not still be sleeping? Perhaps the schedule of the raven had changed from what it had been back then. 

Stepping into the room, he approached the bed quietly. True to his suspicions, Kanda remained asleep, features maintaining a slight frown despite his lack of consciousness. The sight caused a slight smile to sneak onto Allen’s lips.

He hesitated before opting to remain still and merely watch the slumbering raven. To call his expression peaceful would be a false exaggeration; Kanda’s expression signalled that he would be able to leap into action, did the situation call for it. Yet another thing that had not changed.

A barely audible chuckle left Allen’s lips as he finally reached forward reluctantly, laying his hand upon the shoulder of the raven and shook his form gently. 

“Wake up, Kanda…!”

The executions were surprisingly effective, as he was met with dazed blue eyes. Swiftly drawing back his hand, he hesitated. “Sorry - I thought you wouldn’t be too happy if you woke up late.”

Stepping back, allowing Kanda his personal space, Allen bowed. “Thanks for the clothes,” he quickly threw in, retreating a little further. Watching the taller teen gather himself in silence, Allen waited for a response.

He watched as no words passed the lips of the raven, who merely stepped off the bed and made it as per usual, before treading over to the closet without so much as a greeting. He blinked as he once again found something thrown at him.

This time, however, he caught it, finding it to be the matching glove for the one that he already wore. He raised his gaze to the taciturn male before smiling. “Thanks,” he responded to the nonexistent words of the raven, before slipping the glove onto his right hand.

Without a word, Kanda merely stepped past him, clothes in hand, and left the bedroom, leaving him to himself once again. Silver eyes traced the back of the teen until he disappeared from sight. Allen frowned. At the very least, he was expecting some form of hostility.

Kanda seemed unusually unresponsive, even if he was somnolent, which rarely ever occurred. It left Allen somewhat puzzled to see the raven in such a state, The last he had recalled anything similar was when Kanda had experienced an exceptionally harrowing nightmare.

Surely that could not have been the reason; Kanda had been far too calm in his slumber for it to be. Allen found himself staring blankly at the door as his train of thought was disturbed by the long-haired male’s behaviour. 

Shaking his head, he left the room and began to descend the staircase. He was hungry… Kanda barely had anything to eat, however, so he supposed he would have to go hungry for a while. For how long he would be able to retain his energy, he didn’t know.

As he waited in relative quiet, he took the opportunity to explore the many oddities within the house. Mugen lay upon the mantel, while his arm’s apparent resting place sat on the table. The walls were strewn with spell strips and banners, and the many odds and ends placed neatly against the walls all brought back not so fond memories within Allen’s mind.

He breathed out. This was only more proof that Kanda was subconsciously aware of his previous self - whether that was a good thing or not, Allen was uncertain. It did not formulate pleasant thoughts within his mind, and he suspected that the case was similar for the taller male.

Within mere minutes, the sound of footsteps entered his perception and his head turned to face Kanda, who descended the staircase in a cold silence, his gaze still somewhat hazy. Allen was quick to arrive at the conclusion that the raven looked handsome in casual clothing.

“It’s a good day to be alive,” he greeted somewhat blankly. 

The words seemed to jolt the raven out of the partial daze, and Allen found himself fixated by a narrowed, abstruse gaze. He tilted his head slightly, nonplussed. Neither of the two made any movement for a few moments that seemed like hours.

Finally, the raven looked away from him and trod over to the door, completely forgoing even a drink for breakfast. Allen frowned and followed after him. “Kanda - you have to eat something, you know,” he admonished.

“Che. Don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t do, baka moyashi.”

“...It’s Allen.” 

Even with his complaint, the long-haired male did not pay heed, opting to leave the house. Allen sighed. Kanda seemed healthy enough, but Allen had not seen him eat a single bite ever since the antecedent day. The only refreshment that had been consumed by the raven was green tea.

How Kanda managed with so little, Allen would never understand. Just as Kanda would never understand how he could eat such absurdly elephantine amounts of food. The thought ringing within his mind, he followed the raven out of the house and through the neighbourhood.

The sun was beginning to rise, and the sight of it was calming. Allen glanced around the place. The roads were a little different as well, and there were no horses in sight. There were, however, strange contraptions that looked like something Komui would conjure up, causing him to be slightly wary.

He remained a little behind the raven, who strode through the suburban area with such confidence, it calmed him almost immediately. He noted the many houses that stood within the expanse. They looked a little strange, but no stranger than Headquarters, he supposed.

As they continued to walk, he noted the area growing from slightly dense to more dense, and rumbling in the distance. He started as one of the vehicles zoomed past him, blinking in shock and slowing to a halt to stare at it go.

“Haven’t you seen a car before?” Kanda snapped at him before grabbing his arm and dragging him from where he stood precariously close to the road. 

“No,” Allen admitted. He didn’t know why he was so surprised; he had seen much worse from Komui, after all. 

They continued with their commute and Allen discovered that there were many of those cars in the city, causing it to be rather loud, even in the morning.

Upon arriving at the school, the pair stepped into the building and began to walk through the hall. Allen wasn’t sure what he made of the place. It was wide, but not very tall, and possessed many rooms. He wondered just how much money the people of this era had, to be able to construct so many buildings.

The place was virtually empty, save the odd person in the rooms. He followed Kanda to a box-shaped thing, which the raven proceeded to open and take some notebooks from. There were many of the same sort of thing lining the long corridor, he noted.

Lost for what he ought to have been doing, he blindly followed the raven through the silent hall and into one of the many rooms. His eyes trailed along the many desks lining the room and noted that Kanda opted to occupy the one that sat in the back corner, by the window. 

He chuckled faintly, but didn’t move, unsure if he had a place in the setting. He could see the icy blue eyes trail over to him before a familiar cluck elicited from the lips of the raven.

“Anywhere around me,” the reluctant direction came. 

Nodding, Allen stepped over to the desk beside Kanda and sat himself down. He took in his surroundings. Around the room hung posters depicting science related things. He tilted his head and read over them curiously. Were they in a sciences classroom?

“Good morning, Kanda!” 

“Che.”

Allen’s gaze snapped to the door at the sound of the familiar voice, and his gaze widened. A smile stole over his face as he lifted his hand in a half-wave. “Good morning, Lenalee!” 

He froze along with the atmosphere as two gazes turned to stare at him, one in puzzlement and the other in vague surprise. Lowering his hand awkwardly, he averted his gaze, biting his bottom lip tentatively. 

“....I’m sorry - have we met before?” 

As his gaze drifted back to the girl, he noted the slightly puzzled yet polite smile on her face, reminiscent of the her he knew. He chuckled slightly and ran a gloved hand through his hair, unsure of how he should respond to the question. It was difficult to remind himself that no one knew him.

“Ignore him,” Kanda muttered, breaking the perturbed quiet that had settled over the expanse. Allen spoke not a word, lest he said something he would regret once again. 

He watched as she sat herself somewhere near the middle of the classroom. With her arrival followed many others, most who Allen did not recognize. No others looked familiar to him. As the classroom eventually filled out, Allen made a note that he was receiving quite a few strange glances, and that none of the seats surrounding the raven were occupied by anyone.

He wondered what the reason for that was. However, he had little opportunity to ponder the thought further as another figure he recognized stepped up to the desk at the front just as a bell rung.

“All right, class, we’ll take role call now,’ the man called cheerfully, clipboard in one hand and pink-bunny mug in the other.

As Allen listened, he began to call the names of the students one by one, marking off something on his clipboard as they responded. 

“Lenalee?”

“Here,” the dark-haired girl responded, looking up from whatever she had been focussed on upon her desk.

“I couldn’t hear you~” the teacher chirped.

“Here…!”

“What was that, Lenaleee~?”

As the poor girl was forced to practically yell in response, Allen could hear whispers of “Favouritism,” and “it’s because they’re related,” fluttering through the class. He chuckled faintly. Some things definitely remained similar to what he was used to.

“What’s this - we have a visitor?” 

Allen’s head snapped up as his gaze landed upon the man in alarm. It was his intention to remain inconspicuous within the class, but apparently that did not seem to be what would happen. He abruptly stood and bowed politely.

“Yes,” he replied quickly. “My name is Allen Walker, and I’m here with Kanda for the time being,” he quickly introduced, straightening up and watching Komui quietly. 

Once again, the murmuring whispers fluttered through the class, and Allen could hear many odd things, some being, “Oh my God, he’s British..!”, “Cute,” and “They know each other?” Apparently modern day classes had a certain whispering quirk, he realized, as Komui motioned for him to sit.

“Nice to meet you, Allen. You can call me Mr. Lee,” the apparent teacher responded pleasantly. “I’m sure you’ll have a nice time getting to know some of our lovely students….just stay away from Lenalee.”

Despite the seriousness of his tone, Allen could clearly perceive the poorly disguised groans that echoed through the class at the eccentric and perhaps even somewhat tiring behaviour of the teacher. 

His gaze drifted over to Kanda as he partially tuned out the voice of the teacher. The raven seemed rather disinterested by the events, and was absorbed within what seemed to be a textbook, writing both within it and in a notebook.

A faint smile crept onto his lips at the sight. Even amidst a room of people, the raven never relinquished his solitary persona, which Allen would admit was only part of Kanda’s charm. If Kanda noticed the stare he was receiving, he gave no sign of it.

It was only then that Allen realized he had absolutely nothing he could occupy himself with as the class progressed. He wondered how long it would be. From the looks of things, the students were resigned to a task of reading and taking notes. 

He did, however, note the glances that were being stolen in the general direction of him and Kanda. He wondered why. 

Silver eyes drifted over to the window. It was a pleasant day; not unpleasantly humid, but not cold either. Vibrantly clothed trees and luscious grass spoke of late spring. His gaze grew distant in thought. It was reminiscent of a happier time for him, not that he would ever voice it out loud.

“Allen!” 

At the sound his his name, the white-haired teen snapped back to the present, starting at the sight of Komui bent over his desk with a strained grin and papers in his hand.

“My - you’re definitely an expert at ignoring people, and I thought that was Kanda’s job,” Komui sang, earning himself a rancorous glare, courtesy of the raven. It was blatantly ignored, however. Allen smiled sheepishly a slight chuckle passing his lips.

“Sorry, Komui,” he apologized. “I was just…thinking about things.” 

At his words, the people that sat within hearing range of him turned to stare at him, stunned, leading him to wonder just what he had done wrong this time. His gaze drifted up to the man, who was staring at him with a similar surprise.

“Ah - I don’t think I ever told you my first name?” he ventured. Allen’s eyes widened and he ducked his head, nonplussed. Komui proceeded to smile and lay a paper upon his desk. “But never mind that - if you don’t have anything to do, then you can write something. A letter, a story, a poem - whatever you’d like!”

A pencil was placed before him, and he hesitantly lifted it into his hand. Silver eyes drifted up to the teacher, who nodded encouragingly at him before turning and stepping over to one of the other students.

Hesitantly, Allen began to scrawl down on the lined paper, unsure of what he was meant to be doing. His mind was atypically blank and he found that the sole thing he could do was continue to move his hand so that it marked the page that laid before him.

His mind drifted once again, namely to all the people that he had seen that day whom he knew. So not a single person remembered him after all. He breathed out a sigh and continued to write, barely paying any attention to the words that were upon the leaf of paper.

Judging stares: he could clearly feel them boring into him, but he did not bother to raise his head and identify the people that were behind the piercing gazes. It reminded him of a time where his arm branded him a freak - surely the stares were not precipitated by his arm this time, as it was covered by sleeve and glove.

He gazed blankly down at the words, unable to comprehend what they said due to the many other thoughts that were simultaneously running through his mind. He could feel another pair of eyes added to the sundry gazes, the new pair feeling strangely familiar.

As he continued to spill words mercilessly onto the sheet of paper, the pencil snapped in his hand, one half flying to the corner of the classroom, the other constricted in a vice grip. His blank gaze stared almost wild-eyed at the paper and his breaths caught in his throat.

 

_ I’m here. I’m here. I’m here. I promised. I promised I wouldn’t leave. I promised I wouldn’t leave you. You left me. You left me. You left me. You left me. I promised. You forgot. I’m here. You can’t remember me. You forgot me. I love you. For over a hundred years. I love you. You forgot me. I’m drowning. Help me. I love you. I’m dying. Help me. I’m drowning. Save me. Don’t leave me. I love you. Don’t abandon me. I love you. Don’t let me die. I need you. Save me. Save me. Don’t let me disappear. I’m dying. I’m dying. I’m dy-- _

 

His breaths grew laboured as whatever words were written subsequently were blurred on the paper by drops of water. 

He could barely register a recognizable hand encircling fingers around his arm and pulling him up, tugging him from the chair upon which he sat and out the classroom door despite the protests of Komui.

Something was wrong. He was not that desperate. And yet, the words on the paper were beyond even his understanding. He would never write anything so…undignified. He found himself staring into frigid blue eyes as burning drops of water raged over his pale skin from expressionless silver. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was not supposed to happen. I'm sorry Allen. I made you cry at the end of a chapter again. I don't know how it happened -.- I'm sorry readers - this wasn't a very well written chapter at all. Please forgive me for that -.-


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for being late again.... -.- I've been doing a terrible job of being on schedule and I really hope you can forgive me for that. Thank you all for your wonderful support and I do hope you enjoy chapter 7  
> Things happen to Kanda. Things that he doesn't appreciate.  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura~

This was getting ridiculous. He had seen enough. A terse clucking of the tongue left Kanda’s lips as he abruptly stood, stepping over to Allen, and taking him by the arm. Ignoring the contention that his action had provoked from the teacher, he pulled the white-haired teen to his feet and over to the door.

He was well aware of the stares he was receiving, but could not bring himself to care less, even if he attempted to do so. Leaving the classroom, he half-hauled the beansprout down the hall to a less occupied area and pushed him against the wall, glaring at him.

“The least you could do is  _ not  _ cause a scene, moyashi,” he snapped after a few moments of silence. Allen seemed as puzzled as he, despite the obscenely large tears that rolled down his cheeks. How easily did the boy cry, honestly? It was contemptible.

As he surveyed, Allen moved to wipe his hands in an almost trance-like state, staring at the blemishes upon the white glove with faint surprise. Kanda sighed in aggravation and ran a hand through his hair. This was not what he had bargained for when he had generously allowed the boy to remain in his home, and even follow him to school.

The only sound that penetrated the silence between them was the sound of the white-haired teen’s harsh breathing, although there was no sobbing to be heard. Soon, even that subsided, but Kanda noted that the tears still refused to desist.

A strange tightness had gradually amassed within his chest, causing his frown to deepen as he stared vehemently at the shorter male, who met his gaze abstrusely. His jaw tightened as he averted his eyes in a motion that he scarce executed.

“Che. I don’t know you. Stop acting as though I do.”

Allen’s lips parted, as though to argue, but no words left them. As Kanda waited, they soon snapped shut and the only response he provoked was a simple nod. He frowned and reached forward, tugging the glove from the right hand of the teen.

Lifting it, he utilized it to wipe the droplets of water from Allen’s face, his frown still present upon his lips. He wouldn’t allow the shorter to attend any other class with such an unpresentable mien. It was disreputable to do such a thing in a school with absurdly judgemental teenagers. 

Dropping the glove back into Allen’s hands, he stared into the monochromatic eyes for  few moments longer before turning and beginning to step down the hall once again. “Now hurry up.”

Progressing at a leisurely pace, he awaited the sound of footsteps following after him, but heard none. Reluctantly, he shot a glance back at the boy, only to discover that Allen had yet to recover from his earlier ordeal. 

A weary sigh elicited from his throat as he viewed the fresh tears that created shining rivulets down the pale skin of the British boy. The glove that he had stripped Allen of in order to clear his face of the obtrusive streamlets of water was held to the lips of the shorter teen. 

“I don’t care if you knew me in some past, moyashi” he stated sharply, despite not receiving any visible response. “You fell for that me, and not this me, so it’s none of my concern. Don’t make your problems my problems.”

It was laughable to consider, and Kanda was still skeptical concerning the entire situation, but he would accept it as it was if it would cause the other to realize that pursuing him would prove fruitless. If it was indeed a factual event, and the boy was truly from a distant past, then he should know that Kanda did not harbour any feelings towards him.

His words seemed to startle the white-haired teen, who lifted his head to meet his eyes. Kanda found himself discomfited by the sight of distress that painted itself onto dulling silver. Nonetheless, the droplets of water seemed to be forcibly staunched as Allen merely nodded.

“...you’re right.” The words were tight and bordered on forced, but Kanda opted to ignore the fact. Alternatively, he chose to turn back and begin to tread towards his class. No doubt he would be in for an unwanted talk from the teacher for his disrespect.

He could hear reluctant footsteps behind him, accompanying him. Perhaps it had finally dawned on the white-haired boy that he did not appreciate his sentiments. In actuality, he found it troublesome. It was even trespassing into his subconscious mind.

Just as he approached the doors of the classroom, the sound of a loudly ringing bell pierced through his auditory perception. Immediately, he sidled over to the wall and stood there as the rush of students leaving the classroom flew past him.

As the procession thinned out, Kanda slipped into the now empty classroom and glanced over at the teacher who had in hand a familiar leaf of paper and was scanning it with a frown. Clucking his tongue, Kanda stalked over to the desk and held his hand outstretched.

“Give me the paper,” he stated simply. Komui glanced up at him, pushing his hexagonal glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Now, Kanda, that isn’t a very polite attitude. And don’t forget about how you walked out of the class. I ought to give you a detention for that.” 

Kanda clucked his tongue in annoyance but said no more, keeping his hand extended for the paper.

“It’s not his fault - it’s mine.” Kanda paused at the sound of Allen’s voice as the teen stepped up to his side and stared at the teacher, who blinked, surprised. Allen sighed. “I’m sorry - I don’t know what came over me.”

“There’s really no need to apologize, but…” Komui drifted off and glanced down at the paper, still within his hand. “What’s been written here is troubling, and as a teacher, it’s my responsibility to ensure your safety while you’re at school.”

“Give me the paper,” Kanda suddenly repeated before plucking the sheet from Komui’s hand and crumpling it within his own. His eyes narrowed. “That’s his business.”

“Kanda--”

“I didn’t know what I was thinking,” Allen quickly interjected. “And I’d rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind.” 

“Not at a--”

“Good,” Kanda interrupted brusquely, stepping away and retrieving his bag from the corner of the classroom. Packing his workbook into the bag, he also proceeded to slip the crumpled paper into it as well.

As the bell rang once again, he was painfully aware that he would be late to his next class. An irritated sigh passed his lips as he made his way out of the classroom, Allen following in his wake with a near stony silence. Pulling his phone from his bag, he checked the time announced upon it before allowing it to drop back into his bag. 

Rubbing his temple tiredly, he progressed down the hall with a scowl. The day had swiftly taken a turn for the worse and, what’s more, he shared his English class with a certain rabbit that could not comprehend the concept of personal space.

It took a good three minutes to arrive at the classroom, practically at the opposing end of the building. Kanda was beginning to disparage the attendance marking in which he would certainly be recorded as late. It was not as though he had been at fault for it.

Sullenly, he threw open the door and slapped his finished work onto the teacher’s desk before striding to the rear of the classroom, followed by a sheepish Allen who halfheartedly murmured apologies for his behaviour. Kanda clucked his tongue. He didn’t want anyone speaking for him. He could speak for himself.

Setting himself down in the empty desk at the corner, he glared violently at the students that chanced glanced back at him for his impertinence. 

He was soon accompanied by Allen, who did not spare him a single glance, although did take the opportunity to grant the redhead near the front of the classroom a brief smile and wave. 

* * *

Years must have passed before the bell rang for lunch break, in Kanda’s opinion. Much to his pleasure, the preceding two classes had proceeded without much trouble, resulting in the improvement, albeit slight, of his disposition.

As he traversed down the hall, headed for his locker, he noted that Allen had not spoken even a word to him after their terse exchange subsequent to his first class. Not that he was particularly displeased, of course. He preferred it, rather.

Returning his books to their place, he shut his locker and trod for the doors of the building with the intention of heading outside as opposed to the cafeteria where everyone else tended to gather. Leaving the school, he sat down upon the lush lawn once again, basking in the relative silence that he received.

“Aren’t you going to eat, Kanda?” Then again, perhaps he had been too hopeful.

“Che. I’ll eat when I want to.”

“No you won’t. I haven’t seen you eat a thing since yesterday. You can’t just starve yourself - if you won’t get anything to eat, I’ll go get something for you.”

Before Kanda could protest, the younger male had already approached the doors and entered them. A sigh passed his lips as his eyes narrowed. He had been correct: company was troublesome to deal with. Unfortunately, this company was one that he could not avoid, even if he wished to.

Opening his bag, he pulled from it the crumpled paper, smoothing it out upon the grass. His eyes scanned the messily scrawled words that seemed to exude a certain desperation that he could not hope to fathom. He traced the penciled lines with his finger, his pale blue gaze narrowing.

Perhaps he ought to kick the teen out of his home. After all, he had no reason to keep Allen, save for the fact that it was only the reasonable thing to do. However, no doubt it would cause him not only to spend more money for the sake of another person whom he did not know, but be charged with his wellbeing.

Folding the paper, he placed it within his bag just as Allen ran from the doors of the school building and towards him. He stared blankly at the boy, who had in his hands a rectangular parcel of sorts. A smile was present upon the lips of the teen as he presented the box to Kanda.

“Here you go,” Allen stated, sinking down into a cross-legged position beside him and placing the food upon his lap. 

Reluctantly, Kanda pulled the lid from the box, only to stop short and stare. He had never bought food from the cafeteria mainly due to the fact that he disliked it with a burning passion. However, Allen had somehow managed to retrieve soba from somewhere.

“Eat,” the white-haired teen encouraged, as he hesitated momentarily. Allen had not taken any food for himself, despite possessing a ludicrously gargantuan appetite, if Kanda’s dreams served his mind accurately. He almost felt guilty. Almost.

Taking the chopsticks that had been provided, he slowly began to eat without a word. He could virtually feel the smile of the British teen. Without even consuming half of the contents of the box, he set it away from himself. He couldn’t eat with that thought in mind.

“Finish it,” he stated.

“But--”

He flashed a glare at the shorter male. “Finish it!”

Pointedly allowing his attention to leave the white-haired boy, he listened as his command was heeded. Crossing his arms over his chest, he stared down at the grass as if in attempts to burn it with his eyes. He frowned. It did nothing to help calm him.

Lowering his hands into his lap, he let out a breath and allowed his eyes to close. He was far too tense - even a child would be able to see that. Allowing his shoulders to ease into  a more relaxed stance, he drew in a soft breath before letting it out once again, prolonging his exhale. Fortunately for him, his company had chosen to remain silent as he did so.

Within the span of a few minutes, he found himself calming somewhat. The sounds from the the shorter teen had subsided, resulting in no spoken words between them. It made the fact that they were lost within their own thoughts palpable, and that fact unsettled Kanda.

He had never once expected himself to wish for the break to be over, but the discomfiture that had settled over him was all too evident. He would do anything for it to grow less evident, even if that ensued being within a room full of noisy and troublesome classmates.

Unfortunately, there was at the least a good half hour remaining, and from the appearance of things, it seemed as though he would be resigned to sitting upon the lawn with the British teen for the remainder of that time. 

“Hey, Kanda… Have you ever done anything that you regretted?”

As if that were not enough, even the silence was not prolonged. Kanda’s eyes drifted open before trailing over to the teen who watched him with a certain interest. His lips curled into a frown.

“That’s none of your business, moyashi.” 

The white-haired male opened his mouth, as if to protest, but shut it before any words could elicit from his lips. With a faint frown, Allen looked away from him, causing him to feel almost curious as to what the teen had been prepared to say.

Nonetheless, he did not push the matter, simultaneously not wishing to engage in meaningless conversation. Especially not about his regrets. Oh, he regretted many things - perhaps more than he could even count - but he had no intention of sharing those many things.

Thankfully, the bell managed to ring at that moment, causing Kanda to push himself to his feet and head back for the school doors. He had many regrets, but they did  not trouble him as much as the enigmatic boy that had appeared within his house without reason.

“Yuu-chaaaan~ Allen-chan!”  

“Don’t call me that, baka usagi!” Kanda snapped, whirling around and throwing an irritated fist in the direction of the redhead. His patience had been precariously thin since the beginning of the day, causing him to be far more easily provoked than what could be deemed normal for him.

“Hey, Lavi,” Allen greeted simply, granting the tallest of them a smile. 

“See? Why can’t you be a little more cheerful like Allen,” Lavi complained petulantly, upon dodging the blow and throwing an arm around the shoulders of the virulent raven. “At least try to sm-”

“Shut up and go die,” Kanda snapped, pushing the redhead away from himself. 

“Aww - come on, Yuu…”

“Shut up.”

Leaving Kanda’s side, the redhead opted to throw an arm around the shoulders of the much less hostile teen. “See? He’s so mean to me~” he mock groaned, serving to make the white-haired boy chuckle faintly. 

“Then maybe you should take a different approach,” he suggested jokingly. 

“Both of you shut up.”

Kanda frowned. Perhaps he was being finicky, but break was preferable to suffering the antics of that unbearable rabbit. Stalking into his next class, he took his seat at the back, and was quickly accompanied by not only Allen, but Lavi as well.

* * *

Classes passed fairly uneventfully, the only complication being the presence of the redhead, who had an affinity for irking him merely by being within a three metre radius of him. Thankfully, the taller male’s caretaker had driven to the academy to pick him up for some reason or another.

That left him with the white-haired male as he commuted back to his home. He discovered that he was growing accustomed to the presence that had been a constant in his life for the duration of the day of school. Despite his initial aggravation, he was admittedly surprised with how easily the teen had slipped into a typical day.

“School seems a little boring,” Allen confessed as they entered the suburbs.

“Che.” If he were to be completely honest, Kanda agreed with the shorter male. School was something he wished he didn’t need to experience; it was not the most pleasant of places for him. Then again, it took his mind from more pressing matters. In due course, he doubted that would be a good thing, but for now he would allow it.

“But it’s definitely much more peaceful,” Allen continued. 

Kanda almost halted completely at the statement, swiftly disguising the surprise that drifted into his gaze at the words. If anything, school could be one of the least peaceful places he knew. If Allen thought that it was indeed an untroubled place, the raven found himself justified in questioning the past of the white-haired teen.

Striding over to the door of the house, Kanda unlocked it and entered, his company following in close suit. As soon as he shut the door, however, he felt a hand encircle around his arm. Prepared to harshly pull the limb from the grasp of the one person who could possibly be behind the action, he turned to glare at Allen. However, he found that he could not under the intense silver gaze that fixated him to the spot. 

“You don’t exist in this world, Kanda,” Allen murmured, his eyes squarely meeting the blue ones of the raven. “You don’t belong here.”

The initial response that Kanda felt was the wave of menace that crashed ruthlessly over his body. He stared blankly into the eyes of the British boy, slowly drawing his arm from the grasp of the younger male. His lips parted, but for a few moments, no words left them.

“Who are you?” he rasped, his eyes widening slightly. The sense of needing to get away from the teen was prominent, but his body once again refused to pay heed to his mind, much like it had within his dreams. Allen only smiled sadly at him, reaching up as if to touch his cheek, but falling short by hairsbreadths.

“You don’t know me,” he responded. “I’m Allen Walker, Kanda.” 

The words slipped into his mind, causing his eyes to widen further. That name… That name - he didn’t know that name…did he?  He didn’t know an Allen Walker. He had never known an Allen Walker, had he? Had he…? 

“A...llen Walk...er?” 

The name passed his lips without his consent, much to his dismayed chagrin. It sounded completely alien to his ears, but felt strangely familiar upon his tongue, almost as if he had spoken it before. His gaze darkened, as though storm clouds had gathered in a once pristine blue sky.

“Do you remember, Kanda?” Allen questioned softly. “Can you remember me? Can you remember yourself…?” 

The glove-covered hand met his cheek, and Kanda found that he could not push the gentle digits from his skin. His dark gaze met the vehement silver of the shorter male, and his lips parted, but no sound escaped his throat. 

“You don’t belong here, Kanda… You belong with me. You promised me. You took my life, and you gave me yours, Kanda… Don’t forget that.”

“Get away from me,” the raven hissed, despite being transfixed and unable to move, regardless of how desperately he wished he could. His words only served the younger male to draw closer to him, much to his dismay.

“Won’t you follow me to where we belong, Kanda…? Neither of us exist in this world - you have no records and I have no place. Won’t you abandon this place for me…?”

“Get away from me!” Kanda grated, finding the willpower within himself to break away from the stare of the white-haired teen and swiftly move through the hall, towards the staircase. “I don’t know you. I don’t know you!”

“Kanda…”

The raven abruptly scaled the stairs and shut himself within his room, panting. The darkness had dissipated from his wide eyes, leaving them pale blue once again, and staring down blankly at the carpeted floor. What… What was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....is Kanda perhaps...remembering? Or not? Only he knows. Allen is awfully impatient. And is probably not helping -.-" And again, I'm sorry for being late. Things have been getting busier lately ^.^"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a confusing chapter, now that I think of it. Ah...but I can't explain too much of it, because that's the job of the next chapter. So I do hope you'll bear with me for this ^.^" All of this is a figment of my imagination, and not canon (thankfully -.-) so any events that happen when Kanda and Allen are exorcists are just me...  
> Yay - everyone loves flashbacks -.- or not really, but ah well...that's basically this chapter.  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura~

Kanda slid down into a seated position, back resting against the door, as he stared blankly down at the floor. That was… What was that? That ambience of threat that had settled over his being when he had been in the presence of the white-haired boy? It could not be natural. Something was wrong - perhaps even perilously so.

What was that boy saying? He didn’t know him. He didn’t! He never had. And yet, Kanda could not fight the feeling of familiarity that had surged over his body like an electrical shock when his tongue had uttered that name and when his nerves had registered the touch of the white-haired male. 

His body could recognize what his mind could not, much to his dismay. There was nothing about the shorter male that he knew, and yet, he felt as though he had known everything about Allen. It bewildered him, and he didn’t appreciate the sentiment in the slightest.

The confusion that riddled his mind did not aid his train of thought in the slightest. His thoughts were growing muddled. Was he alive? Did he really exist? What did Allen mean when he had said that he had no records? He was here, wasn’t he?

His hand laid itself over his chest to feel the strong beating of his heart. A sigh passed his lips. He was alive. Of course he was - hadn’t he been alive all along? Perhaps Allen was playing with his mind.. Standing, he stiffly made his way over to the side table, pulling open a drawer. Lifting from it the ring binders that organized all his papers, he flipped them open upon the bed.

As he scanned over them, flipping them one by one, his breaths tightened in horror. His movements growing swifter, he continued to flip through the papers, searching desperately for his name upon anything. Deeds, birth certificate; anything.

His eyes widened. Rushing from his room, he half ran half stumbled down the steps in a doubtless undignified performance, grabbing the phone that sat upon a small table by the wall. Without paying any mind to the figure of the white-haired teen that still stood motionless within the corridor, he dialled a number into the phone.

As he waited impatiently for an answer to his call, his eyes drifted to the window. He stopped short, a pitifully strangled gasp leaving his lips. When had the window been nailed over with wooden planks?

His gaze drifted around the house. This could not be real. It couldn’t be. The once alive hues that had given the home its atmosphere had dulled and yellowed, and the metal framing of the home had rusted over. His antiques were covered in dust and cobweb, and sickly light filtered through dust encrusted lighting.

The phone dropped from his ear, abruptly cutting off the mechanical voice that stated the nonexistence of the number he had dialled. His eyes drifted over to the white-haired teen once again, who stood desolately amidst the shadowed hallway.

“What did you do?!” he grated, the words sounding painfully sharp within his dry throat. 

As silver eyes turned to stare blankly at him, Kanda stiffened. No sound passed the lips of the shorter male, but the sclerae of his left eye darkened to black, the iris and pupil shifting from silver and black to black and an alarmingly vibrant red. Upon the pale shirt that he had bestowed the boy with, bloomed a scarlet rose that refused to desist in spreading its petals over the fabric, dying it in crimson.

“Kanda…”

Allen advanced towards him, and he instinctively stepped back. The left arm of the shorter male had completely torn through the sleeve of his shirt and his glove, elongating to inhuman proportions and taken upon itself an armoured scaly appearance. 

He was a monster. The thought fluttered through Kanda’s head before he could even consider any other movement. Subsequently, he found himself retreating from the white-haired male until his back pressed flat against the wall.

“Please don’t run from me, Kanda…” His eyes darkened at the sight of anguished eyes staring hopelessly at him. Shifting, he began to ascend the staircase, his eyes fixed upon the ghastly figure of the British teen.

As his steps took him to the second floor of the house, he could see that the carpet had been torn, and the lights dimmed to uselessness. The wood of the doors was rotting and soft to the touch, and a certain dank air had settled within the building.

He quickly turned and ran for his room, only to realize that it too was left dilapidated and decaying. His eyes drifted to the binders that still remained open upon the moth-eaten bed. Shakily, he stepped over to the inadequate furniture, and stared down at the paper that had been left open within the binder.

 

_ Certificate of Death _

_ Name: Yuu Kanda _

_ Date of Death: June 6, 1853 _

_ Age: 18 _

_ Cause of Death: Killed in battle _

_ Mother: Not applicable _

_ Father: Not applicable _

_ Occupation: Exorcist _

_ Residence: Black Order Headquarters _

_ Nationality: Japanese _

 

The panic that spread over his figure at the sight caused his lips to part in a silent scream of terror, no sound eliciting from them. Within his chest, his heart hammered mercilessly, and his hand raised itself to clasp the fabric of his shirt tightly. He was alive… He was alive… He existed!

This was all false. This couldn’t be real. This wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. He had lived for at least five years in this place; he had attended school. He had done all of that. This was-- this couldn’t be real.

In a last, desperate effort to prove his belief correct, he grabbed his cell phone from the cracked and fragmenting side table, running through it and dialling the number of the one person he had assumed he would never call.

“Hello? This is Lavi Bookman - how can I help you?”

“Usagi,” he rasped. “It’s…” he hesitated before gritting his teeth and breaking past the wall that was his pride. “It’s Kanda. Kanda Yuu.” There was a pause at the other end of the line before the redhead spoke once again.

“I’m sorry, but I think you have a wrong number. I don’t know a Kanda Yuu.”

The phone slipped from his grasp as his eyes shut tightly. The electronic device shattered upon the ground, but he could not bring himself to care. This couldn’t be. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t! It wasn’t real! It was just a bad dream or something of the like...

As his gaze drifted through the paper, the strength disappeared from his legs and he found himself crumbling to the floor. His eyes drifted to the doorway of his room, only to find the British teen standing within it. He stared unreadably at the boy, for the first time since he could recall, a single droplet of water seeping from a tired eye.

“What do you want,” he stated monotonously as he knelt, defeated, at the foot of his bed. “What do you want with me.”

As he listened, footsteps drew closer to him, and he felt a human hand of flesh reach for his cheek, turning his head so that his gaze met the mismatched one of the white-haired boy. Within those eyes, he could see utter grief within them, so great that he had to pause.

“I’m sorry, Kanda… I’m sorry - I never meant to put you through this again…I should have left when I could. I shouldn’t have stayed with you…I’m so sorry, Kanda… I love you and I’m causing you so much pain…”

Kanda found his suddenly cold boy enveloped within an embrace that spoke of irrepressible heartache. Even in the arms of the teen, he found that his body would not warm itself. As his eyes slid shut, he could hear a soft sob elicit from the lips of the white-haired teen.

* * *

“Kanda, I need…” the shorter male drifted off before standing, and stepping away from the table. “Can you come with me for a moment?”

The raven frowned at the words of his fellow exorcist, but nonetheless obeyed, standing and following Allen out of the dining hall. Allen seemed unusually serious, and that perturbed him somewhat. Kanda sighed as they trailed down the corridor before entering Allen’s room.

As he stepped in, the white-haired male shut the doors behind him, and stood leaning against them, staring intently at him. He sighed. 

“What now, moyashi?” he inquired, resting a hand on his hip as he watched the younger male. 

“It’s Allen, BaKanda,” the white-haired teen responded lightly, more out of habit than anything else. “I wanted to say that if I ended up losing my battle today, I want you to kill me. I don’t want anyone else doing it.” Kanda tensed. “Mind you, I don’t intend to lose,” Allen quickly added, his gaze narrowing. “I’m not weak.”

“Che. You’d better not lose then,” Kanda responded simply. A chuckle passed the lips of the shorter teen. 

“Don’t worry. I have my goal in mind,” he responded. A smile spread over pale lips as Allen stepped away from the door and drew closer to Kanda. “But promise me at least that, Kanda. If anything happens, my life is in your hands and no one else’s.”

“Doesn’t that mean I can save it, moyashi?” the raven responded abruptly. 

“Who knows,” Allen replied. “But still. Promise me, Kanda.” 

Kanda found his head taken in two dissimilar hands and his dark gaze met the shining silver of the younger male. He frowned. Allen spoke of it as though it were nothing, but it was not something that he could affirm so soon. If it were something as simple as knocking the beansprout unconscious, he was certain he could do that. But no - Allen had requested for him to take his life.

“I…” he hesitated, his gaze narrowing and his jaw tightening. He could not. He didn’t know how he would bear the agony of killing the person he loved once again. His gaze shook slightly at the mere thought of it. He had once again found his joy with the white-haired teen, and said person wanted him to kill him? He couldn’t.

“Please.” Despite the firmness of the spoken word, the hint of pleading behind it was obvious. Kanda turned his head away, only to have it turned back by the shorter male. “Kanda…” 

“You aren’t allowed to leave me, baka moyashi,” he snapped suddenly, his gaze growing vehement. “I don’t care what happens - you aren’t allowed to leave me!” His tone had raised itself by a few decibels, and was painful to his ears, but he didn’t care.

“Kanda…” He could register the sensation of familiar arms wrapping around his body, and instinctively returned the embrace tightly, as though the younger teen would slip out of his hands, were he to release him. He didn’t want to lose the last person that he held such burning passion for - it would be unbearable.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” he whispered hoarsely. “I’ll do it. I’ll kill you. But you’d better win.” His head was beginning to throb as he regretted the words that passed his lips as soon as they had fallen off his tongue. He could feel the grip of the younger exorcist tighten around him, causing his heart to clench.

“Thank you, Kanda…”

“Listen up, moyashi. You will come back from this battle,” Kanda continued, disguising the slight tremor within his voice. He glared down at the shorter male. “Both of us will.” He pulled away from Allen before taking the parasitic arm within his hands, and proceeding to lift the veiny red hand to his lips.

“Kanda…?”

The raven didn’t spare a single glance to the white-haired teen who stared at him in faint surprise. Instead, he trailed his lips over the malformed ring finger of the exorcist’s sinewy hand. “And when we do, I’ll be yours,” he stated, his tone completely serious. “Even beyond the grave.”

“You…do realize what you’re saying, right, Kanda?” Allen questioned, his voice slightly tight. Kanda lifted his head so that his eyes met the beautifully bright ones of the teen that he had hopelessly fallen for before he had even tripped. 

“Baka moyashi - do I have to explain everything?” he retorted, his tone harsh, but holding within it traces of undeniable affection. “I don’t care if it’s written on documents or whatever they do, but I want to stay with you until our time runs out, and even after that.” He frowned at the shorter male.

The initial response that he received was a chuckle, which soon became a laugh. “You… You’re the only person I know who would say that while frowning,” the younger responded with a smile. Kanda found the hand within his grasp shifting to rest on his cheek. “All the more reason for me to come back with you,” he added. 

“So don’t you dare leave me,” Kanda snapped once again, reciprocating the motion as his fingers slid over the red scar that marred the left cheek of the white-haired teen. 

“I promise,” Allen responded with a smile, moving closer to the long-haired exorcist once again. Kanda wrapped his unoccupied arm around the waist of the shorter male, and tilted his head upwards so their gazes squarely met.

“You’ll pay if you break that one,” he stated simply, his features not even hinting a smile as he lowered his lips onto those of the white-haired teen. 

Within the span of a few seconds, they parted. Allen’s grip on the taller tightened however, but Kanda couldn’t find it within himself to complain. After all, as little as he wished to admit it, he too needed the reassurance of the other’s presence. He wasn’t sure just when he had grown so reliant on the beansprout, but he would be a liar if he denied it altogether.

For how long they remained still within each other’s arms, Kanda was uncertain, but as they disentangled from their embrace, he felt strangely hollow. He shouldn’t have felt that way, he was certain. He doubted people felt empty subsequently to proposing and being accepted.

As his gaze trailed over to the younger male who stood watching him silently, he could see that same inexplicable emptiness within silver eyes. Swallowing the apprehension that had formed within his mind, he shook his head and turned to stare out the window of the exorcist’s room.

Treading over to the window, he stared over the island that they inhabited. The air felt somewhat heavy, as though it would rain at a later date. Kanda breathed out, his gaze lifting to the sky. His eyes narrowed against the sunlight that penetrated the clouds, leaving a piercing brightness in its wake. 

The soft sound of crooning reached his ears and his head turned to the source of the noise. As he watched, a perfectly pristine white bird of some sort, perhaps a dove, flew weakly from the north end of the building. As he surveyed, the pitiful thing plummeted from the sky to where it would doubtless meet its death.

The sight caused a slight coldness to run down his back. He stepped away from the window and turned back to face Allen, who stared at him worriedly. He shook his head in silent dismissal, allowing the matter to pass without any further discussion. It was only him.

“Go finish your food before you run out of energy,” he commanded, stepping over to the door and opening it, holding it open for the white-haired male. The smile that he received for his words caused the smallest reciprocation to appear upon his lips.

* * *

Within the throes of battle, Kanda could not register much, save the sheer strength that surged through his body as he tore through whatever akuma assailed them. Mugen rested in his right hand, while the hilt was grasped firmly in his left, both glowing with powerful energy.

His body, despite the euphoria that rushed over it, felt the beginnings of weariness slip into it, creeping steadily from the tips of his digits and over his body. Nonetheless, he obstinately refused to cease his assailing, his four-pupiled eyes fixed on the victory that they needed. 

His face was set into a permanent frown as he moved, dodging and striking, as well as healing over rapidly with each blow that he was too slow to escape. His gaze narrowed slightly. The pain that he should have felt became next to nonexistent as adrenaline raced through his veins.

Victory in the name of the black order became nothing to him in the light of another goal that he had failed to achieve not twice, but thrice, and could not bear to be unsuccessful in a fourth time. He wanted to be selfish if it meant he would be able to remain by Allen’s side. 

It was a simple desire, but it was still a selfish one in his mind. Perhaps he didn’t deserve it, after all that he had done, but if anything Allen wanted it as well. If he was forbidden from achieving his goal for his own sake, then he would do it for the sake of the silver haired boy.

After all, Allen had been the one who had pulled him from the darkness that had enshrouded his heart once upon a time. 

And so he persisted. The elation that ran through his hands each time his enemy was reduced to nothing but a crumbling shell at his hands served to fuel his stamina, which he could not complain about. His lips curved upwards slightly in a faint smile that could only be described as feral.

He stared up at the sky as he was ambushed by multiple of the akuma, and a hiss passed his lips at the stinging sensation that accompanied the tearing of his flesh. Nonetheless, he pulled himself from the grasp of the ones that had attacked him, and swiftly finished his work with them.

His body grew rigid, however, at the sound of a familiar piercing scream that he had hoped he would never have to hear. Cursing under his breath, he broke into an abrupt run. Pain washed over his body as the adrenaline that had energized him previously ebbed away in that instant, causing his jaw to tighten.

Pale eyes raked over the clearing, searching for the source of the sound. Unable to focus his attention clearly, due to the incessant attack of the akuma and Noah, he scowled. Forgoing his sight, he merely ran to where his instincts led him.

Much to both his relief and his horror, his intuition directed him to the white-haired male, bowed over on the ground, hands in his hair, and energy sparking dangerously around him. To Kanda’s distress, as he watched, the pale skin slowly began to dye over in a dark umber.

“ _ Kan…da!”  _ The howl was a desperate one, Kanda could see, but his body wouldn’t move. It couldn’t move for the dread that had cascaded over it, threatening to drag it down. His jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed. No - he couldn’t…But he had promised. Then again, so had Allen. Allen had said he would win. That he wouldn’t leave. And now… 

Kanda was unsure of what emotions spilled over his body almost tangibly, as he merely stood and stared, time seeming to freeze itself upon the torment of the younger teen. Sadness, anger, betrayal, fear; many emotions that the raven had strove to bury once.

Falling abruptly to his knees, undaunted by the fact that the battlefield was a place where he could be sighted by both friend and foe, he wrapped the white-haired teen in a tight embrace, Mugen forgotten upon the ground by his side.

No words left his lips, but he could see, somewhere in the depths of those eyes that hinted amber, the same anguish that he felt at the sight. It was only then that he realized he couldn’t run from his task. He shut his eyes, pulling the younger exorcist closer. Staring down into pained eyes, he frowned, before planting a brief kiss onto the lips of the white-haired male. 

“Good night, moyashi. I’ll see you in the morning…” 

Drawing Mugen from the ground, he lifted the sword before he could rethink, and drove it through the teen’s heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Superstitiously, if one sees a lone white bird, it's a sign of death. If one hears a birdcall from the north, that signifies tragedy. So that explains that pointless little scene in there ^.^" And I'm sorry if this is badly written - taking care of overactive children does not make for an ideal writing atmosphere -.-


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for supporting this story that has nearly drawn to a close~ This is technically the last chapter, dear readers, before the epilogue. I'm glad that you put up with all of this and I do hope you enjoy the rest of the ride ^.^  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura~

Allen started slightly at the sound of abrupt footsteps descending the flight of stairs that joined the ground level of the house to the second floor. He blinked in puzzlement as the long-haired male picked up the phone and began to dial a number.

As he continued to watch, the pale blue gaze drifted around the home before widening in what seemed to be horror. He frowned, his eyes trailing around the home. He couldn’t see just what it was that troubled the taller teen so.

He tensed as the phone fell from Kanda’s hands and onto the floor, his gaze widening slightly as the raven’s eyes met his. 

“What did you do?!” 

The words confused him. Of course, he had done quite a bit, he was certain. Perhaps not even pleasant things, but he was unsure as to what Kanda meant. He frowned. He knew that he was being impatient, but it hurt. It hurt to be in the presence of Kanda that didn’t know him.

“Kanda…” He took a step towards the taller male, only for the teen to back away from him. The sight caused his chest to tighten, and a faint frown to dye his lips. “Please don’t run from me, Kanda…” he pleaded. If anything, if he could just speak with the teen, that would be enough to suffice. 

However, much to his despair, the long-haired male merely turned and bolted upstairs once more. Allen’s eyes widened. Surely Kanda still didn’t have hallucinations now as well, did he? That couldn’t be it. The taller teen did not seem to be affected by such when Allen had seen him once again.

Did that mean he was the cause of it? Allen found a strange knot formulating within his throat that he found difficult to swallow. If Kanda was hallucinating now because of him, perhaps he should not have troubled the raven. Perhaps Kanda would have been better off without him…

The thought caused his chest to clench painfully once again. He bit his lip and ran up the carpeted stairs. As he approached the raven’s door, which had been left open, he discovered Kanda upon the floor, phone beside him, and blank gaze staring at a binder that laid open upon his bed.

The darkened eyes soon turned to meet his own, and Allen stiffened as a tear slid from one of the raven’s eyes. His teeth sank further into his bottom lip until he could taste blood. He…was causing the raven so much grief. If their ways had been parted for good, perhaps Kanda could have been saved from all of this…

“What do you want. What do you want with me.” 

He sounded so…lifeless. Kanda did not sound like that. That wasn’t Kanda. That was what he had done. He had reduced Kanda to that… Fighting back a regrettably familiar sensation that stung at his eyes, he stepped forward and knelt down beside the raven.

“I’m sorry, Kanda… I’m sorry - I never meant to put you through this again…I should have left when I could. I shouldn’t have stayed with you…I’m so sorry, Kanda… I love you and I’m causing you so much pain…”

Allen swallowed painfully. The guilt that flooded his chest was inconceivable. He wrapped his arms around the long-haired male and buried his face within Kanda’s neck, a quiet sob leaving his lips. To his despair, the older male could not even push him away. 

He tensed as Kanda grew limp in his arms. Lifting his head, he stared, wide-eyed at the long-haired male, before realizing that he still possessed a strong pulse. Relaxing, Allen stood, and lifted the taller male in his arms, depositing him upon the bed. 

Sinking down to his knees at the bedside, Allen rested his arms atop the mattress, and laid his head down against them. His eyes watered, but he forcefully retained the tears, not allowing them to fall from his eyes. He  had no right to cry - not when the fault for all of the stress upon the shoulders of the raven could be traced to him.

He was indeed cursed if Kanda was like this because of him. He had been a threat to the ones he loved so long ago, and he was currently a threat to the one that meant the most to him now. His jaw tightened as his gaze trailed over the body of the raven, Kanda’s only movements being the rise and fall of his chest, and the occasional furrowing of his brow. 

Perhaps he should leave. He had managed back then - he was certain it wouldn’t be all that difficult now. But he ought to apologize to Kanda… 

With a frown, he stood hesitantly. Leaning over Kanda, he cleared the raven’s bangs and pressed his lips softly to his forehead. Lowering himself so that their foreheads met, he stared quietly at the long-haired male.

“I’m sorry…” he murmured softly, a droplet of water spilling from his eye socket and falling onto the cheek of the raven. “I won’t trouble you any more.”

He had so desperately wanted to fulfill both their wishes so long ago and return to the place they had called home to be with Kanda for their eternity, but fate was a cruel mistress. Swallowing the hurt that had settled indelibly within his chest, he straightened up before slowly making his way out of the bedroom.

Returning to the guest room that Kanda had so graciously allowed him to reside, albeit for one night, he pulled off the clothes that the taller male had gifted him, and slipped his exorcist uniform onto his body. 

He stared at the gloves which had been pulled from his hands, and raised them to his lips. They were the very ones that Kanda had utilized in a way that seemed remotely gentle when he had been reduced to tears. He would keep them, he decided, slipping them onto his hands once again. 

Folding the clothing that he had previously used, he set it neatly upon the bed before turning tail and escaping from the room without a word. Descending the flight of stairs, he was swift to leave the house as quietly as he found that he could.

Slipping out into the night, he cast a glance around the neighbourhood. It was still and perfectly silent. Something that he found unsettling, especially considering that there was almost always some form of comical chaos within the Headquarters, regardless of the time of day. 

Breaking into a brisk run away from Kanda’s home, he began to head for the city. He had no money, and he wasn’t sure just how he would obtain any in this era, but he wanted to at least give back to Kanda in payment for what he had caused the raven to suffer.

As he trailed into the outskirts of the city, his eyes scanned the billboards and building signs before he stopped short. Of course…why hadn’t he considered that before? Slipping into one building, he easily escaped the eyes of the security guards and made his way into the building.

Sitting himself down at a table, at which many other rich looking people sat, he stared down at the table, upon which cards were being dealt. His eyes trailed around the rest of the place, only to note that he was clearly the youngest person there. Perhaps there was an age-restriction nowadays.

Easily managing to provoke the ones present into allowing a person such as he to participate, he settled his bet and took his cards. This was probably not the wisest of choices, but compared to the nineteenth century, people nowadays seemed soft and sheltered. Easy to beat down if that was what was required.

His eyes lowered to his cards. It was definite. He’d leave Kanda, as little as he wished to do it. There was no point in being with the raven if it caused Kanda so much unhappiness. Within himself, he felt something crack, but he didn’t allow himself to change his mind.

Much unlike his usual poker-face, consisting of an unreadable yet clearly false smile, his eyes remained downcast, and his expression achromatic as he played his cards, easily racking himself wins. He couldn’t bring himself to feel satisfied at the stunned expressions painted over the faces of the other participants. 

He was winning a game, but losing hopelessly in reality. This could not compensate for the one thing that he was playing for. Even as he gained himself notoriety within that one night, it could not ease the heaviness that settled within his chest from guilt and consternation.

It was morning by the time he left the building, winnings in hand. His gaze trailed over the awakening city. Dull, grey eyes scanned the place as he stepped through the city, ignoring the occasional strange look that was cast his way. 

He wondered if Kanda had awakened yet. Most likely not - Kanda was no longer a second exorcist, and could not be as indestructible as he once was. The stress would doubtless affect his body, much to Allen’s dismay. All he could hope for was that the effects would not be too drastic.

The sound of city bustle had grown considerably louder within the short span of a few minutes, causing Allen to wince slightly. No wonder Kanda had opted for the suburbs as opposed to the city. It was absurdly loud, almost constantly. 

As he continued to walk, his gaze settled on a flamboyant looking place that contained luxury products. He would have overlooked it entirely, did he not catch sight of a certain object that managed to stir within him a sweetly painful memory. 

His left hand clenched into a loose fist as he fought the stinging sensation rising within his eyes yet again. It soon raised itself to his mouth as his breaths grew tight. Their exchange nearly two centuries before had been what had bound him to Kanda. It was their promises that had resulted in this discord.

That needed to be resolved. Neither of them would obtain peace if this progressed. Keeping his tears at bay, he stepped into the store, and selected the simple silver object, encased within a container of black velvet. Without a second thought, he paid for the item, barely sparing attention to the clerk as she spoke of things he could only partially understand.

Taking the box, he left the store, searching for another. He was aware of what he needed to do now. It would hurt, but if it meant Kanda would be freed from all of this torment, then he would do it, and willingly. His eyes drifted up to the sky.

It was late morning, he suspected, considering the position of the sun in the sky. Strangely enough, the light of the star was nothing short of a burden to him. It felt heavy upon his body, only adding to the weight that already afflicted him so greatly, it was perceptible.

It took him a surprisingly long time to locate a decent florists shop, much to his surprise. Many of the places he had considered and entered did not have what he was seeking. Stepping into the place, he noted that it seemed as though it would be costly here as well.

Not that it mattered. He had next to no use for the money he had obtained at the moment. As he stepped around the many vibrant displays, he frowned. Perhaps this place lacked in the specific bloom he wanted. As he balanced on the periphery of giving up, he was approached by one of the workers there.

“May I help you?”

He paused before casting a final glance around the shop. “Ah, yes…” 

Leaving the shop with an arrangement within a simple stone basin, he began to head back. The sun had reached its zenith within the sky, he realized, but did not bother to take in his surroundings. All of that held no importance to him, his sole goal being to return to the long-haired male’s abode. 

Completely aware of the looks he was receiving, he opted to ignore them entirely, proceeding with his commute at a much slower pace, due to the fact that he did not wish to spill the contents of the basin. His gaze remained lustreless as he continued on his way.

The past had no place to change the future, that was what he had believed when he had spoken with Lavi. He still stood by his words, but he had altered his train of thought somewhat. His current existence was in this era of the present. It was the task of the present to decide the future, and that was what he would uphold.

As he entered the suburbs, he paused. His gaze drifted down the row of houses to the place that Kanda now called home. A soft sigh passed his lips as he approached the building, his pace sedate, but steady. 

Slowly, he opened the door and slipped into the house, leaning back against it to shut it. Light filtered into the shadowed home, within which no lights had been left on. Allen slowly made his way down the corridor, past the kitchen, and through the living room to the staircase.

Ascending it, he stepped close to the wall, and re-entered the door that led to Kanda’s bedroom. His heart fell at the sight of Kanda, still unconscious upon the bed. Quickly, he stepped over, depositing the basin upon the side table, and kneeling down at the foot of the bed.

His gaze drifted from the long-haired male’s pale face to the pale pink and subtly luminous lotus blossoms that floated serenely within the basin. For a few moments, he showed no expression whatsoever, his silver gaze drifting from one to the other.

Breaths softening, so as not to break the quiet atmosphere that had settled within the dimly lit room, Allen reached for Kanda’s hand. Taking it in both of his own, he lifted it to his lips without so much as a word or a second thought.

He tensed as he felt the hand shift in his grip, only to find it tightening upon his own. His gaze drifted to the upper regions of the bed, to see the raven’s face, twisted with the expression of unspeakable loss that he had never once spectated upon his features.

“Kanda…” he whispered, so softly, it was barely audible to his own, admittedly sharp, ears. The hand within his own tightened further, the nails of the long-haired male digging into his gloved palms. He frowned faintly, but chose not to forcefully awaken the raven.

As moments passed, the grip soon loosened, and the features of the raven relaxed into a neutral frown. Allen breathed out. The raven would be all right - after all, it was a mere dream; a fabrication of his subconscious. It was high time he executed what he had decided upon before the suspended time with Kanda resulted in the changing of his mind.

He released Kanda’s hand, and pushed himself to his feet, staring down at the slumbering raven. Pulling from his coat the velvet box, he opened it and drew from it the simple silver band, engraved with the symbol that he had identified as holding the meaning of ‘infinity’.

Taking Kanda’s hand once again, he slipped the band onto the slender ring finger before planting a gentle kiss upon the digit, just like the raven had done with him once upon a time. His lips curved into a sad smile upon the unblemished skin of the taller male as his gaze trailed over to Kanda’s face.

“I failed you then,” he murmured, lowering the long-haired male’s hand slightly, but not releasing it. “I didn’t stay with you, and even now I can’t. But even if you can’t remember me, just remember that I love you. Forever.” 

He was aware that Kanda would not be able to hear him, and the thought saddened him, but it did not stop him from speaking. His grasp around the strong yet somehow still slender hand of the older male tightened as his jaw clenched abruptly.

Forcing a smile, albeit a saddened one, onto his features, he chuckled lightly, a tear spilling from his eye, followed by another until a thin rivulet ran down either side of his face. He was ashamed of how easily he cried in the presence of the raven, but he could not staunch the thin streams.

“...baka moyashi…you cry too much…” 

Allen stiffened as the hand within his own once again tightened upon his. Silver eyes drifted over to the face of the taller only to find them still closed. However, as he watched, they trembled before slowly fluttering open to stare at him.

“Kanda…?” he breathed out, the grip upon his gloved hand growing firm in a manner that was meant to reassure him; one that he recognized. His eyes widened. “Kanda?” His throat grew dry at the sight of eyes that stared at him with such affection despite being sharp and harsh to the unaided eye.

“You ought to have learned that actions have consequences, idiot," the raven stated, sitting up upon the bed, still holding on to his hand. Allen couldn’t help the slight grin that his smile took upon itself at the scathing tone of the taller male. 

His lips parted as though to respond, but he found that no words could pass them for the knot that his throat had decided to tangle itself into. Kanda, however, did not spare him even a moment to speak.

“I told you that you would pay if you broke your promise,” he continued, his gaze narrowing slightly. “And that was your payment. Unlike us, your cycle was broken. You weren’t supposed to revive.”

The eyes of the raven drifted down to their hands, sighting the silver upon his finger. “I guess fate gave you a chance to reconcile, then. You almost missed your chance again, baka moyashi.”

“Stop calling me that, BaKanda,” Allen responded sharply before moving to throw his arms around the neck of the raven, nearly tackling him onto the bed. The embrace was reciprocated with little hesitation as a faint smirk crossed the lips of the long-haired male.

“I’ll call you what I want to, moyashi.” 

A choked laugh passed Allen’s lips as he tightened his embrace around the other, not wishing to let go.  A weight had lifted off his shoulders - he could clearly discern it as familiar arms held him in a manner he had assumed he would never experience again.

There was a brief silence that was prolonged between them as they merely chose to rest in each other’s presences. Allen found that, regardless of the utter elation that welled up to overflowing within his chest, no tears passed his eyes.

He buried his face within the crook of the older male’s neck, his hands gripping the fabric of the raven’s shirt as he shifted closer to him. The sensation of slender digits lacing through his hair caused his tense stance to relax and his silver gaze to drift back to the former exorcist, who watched him with sharp but somehow gentle, piercing, blue eyes.

“It’s your time to go, moyashi,” the raven stated pulling away from him slightly. Allen paused. 

“What do you mean?” he questioned apprehensively. The air seemed to grow thinner as he sensed his own apprehension melding with Kanda’s stoical calm. The raven merely lowered his arms from his body and gently moved him away.

“I meant what I said. You’ve done what you were supposed to do, and your time is over.” The seriousness in his tone caused Allen to frown.

“What does that mean?” he questioned, perturbed by the hard expression that had plastered itself over the pale features of the raven-haired male. 

“Che. Do I have to explain everything to you, baka moyashi? Your cycle was cut, and now that you’ve reconciled with both yourself and I, your time here is over.” Despite the gravity of his words, Kanda’s voice remained monotonous and calm.

“Kanda…?”

Allen’s eyes lowered down to his body, only to realize that it was beginning to fragment and fade like the petals of cherry blossoms being blown into the distance by a spring breeze. His eyes widened before raising themselves back to the raven that watched him in sombre silence.

“No - I can’t! Not now,” he breathed out, his voice tight as he reached out to the long-haired male, grabbing his arm in a desperate movement, as though it would prevent him from completely dissipating. His hand was taken into Kanda’s and as he watched, the raven interlaced their fingers, squeezing his hand gently. He swallowed.

“Tell me this isn’t real, Kanda…” he choked out, his voice strangled as his lower half disappeared completely from sight and his torso began to crumble. The slightly pained expression within blue eyes did little to reassure him, even as Kanda’s lips parted.

“It’s real, moyashi,” the raven stated, pulling him closer, and reaching out to hold his cheek lightly, staring into his eyes. He had almost forgotten how captivating Kanda’s intense stare was, but for the moment, he didn’t mind being entrapped within them.

“I…I just got you back, Kanda…! I can’t disappear now!” 

“Shh…” 

The raven silenced him with the meeting of their lips, causing something within his chest to drop. This was…it, he knew, as little as he wished to admit it. His grip on Kanda’s hand tightened mere moments before it too fluttered into thin air.

As their lips parted, only his head remained, and even that too was rapidly disappearing. As he watched in crushed silence, a gentle smile spread serenely over the lips of the raven, whose hand still rested against his cheek.

“The night has ended, Allen.” 

As his eyes slipped shut, a single glistening tear fell from them just as he disintegrated entirely, the shining droplet falling onto Kanda’s outstretched hand. 

_ The night has ended. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, that's technically the end ^.^ Just the epilogue to go. I hope you enjoyed all of this, and once again, I'm thankful for all the support and encouragement~


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus everything ends. I live for cliche sappiness -.- I can't do much else anyway. Ah well...hopefully you like it ^.^ The epilogue and the end of this story is now up and I would like to thank all the people who left kudos, bookmarked, and commented on this work. Your support is my drive~   
> All's well that ends well after all.  
> D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura~

Pale appendages brushed over the silken petals of the flora that sat stationary upon the basin of water and mud within his room as the raven eyed them in silence, waiting for the recipient of his call to answer the phone. A barely visible upward curve stole over his lips at the blossoms.

“Oh hey, Yuu-chan! I thought you’d never call me!” Oh, Kanda doubted the redhead would believe him, did he convey to Lavi that he had indeed called him prior, albeit once. 

“Usagi. I want you to get over here and do me a favour,” he stated simply, his eyes trailing over to the window, staring outside at the warm-hued sky characteristic of daybreak. “So hurry up.”

“...you’re asking me for help?” 

“Che.” Of course he was. He merely didn’t want to phrase it that way. It wasn’t as though he would willingly walk up to the redhead and ask him for help, but he did need an extra pair of hands, and as far as he knew, Lavi was at least moderately strong.

“I’ll be right there, Yuu~ Just let me tell the old man and grab my things~” As the call was disconnected, Kanda lowered his cellphone into his bag and shut it before standing. Pulling his hair, which had been loose for the night, up into a ponytail, he fastened it with a red hair ribbon, tugging firmly at it.

Retrieving something from the drawer of his bedside table, he slipped it into a pocket of the vest he had thrown over his typical button-up shirt. His gaze narrowed at it for a brief moment and a tight exhale left his lips as he lowered his hands.

Flashing a last glance at the basin that contained the blooms, he made his way over to his bedroom door. As he left the room, he shut the door behind him, his gaze trailing over to the guest room. He had seen the clothes that had been left upon the bed, but he hadn’t the heart to remove them. They would no longer fit him anyway.

It had been a good week since he had regained his memories and lost his beansprout once again. He had expected it, however, and despite the nagging pain that precipitated from the disintegration of the white-haired exorcist, he knew that it had been for better.

What he found somewhat strange, however, was the fact that Lavi did not question Allen’s disappearance. No one who had been acquainted with the white-haired boy, save he himself, recalled him. It was almost as if the shorter male had never existed in their lives for the few short days that he had spent in the twenty-first century.

Kanda’s eyes lowered to the silver band encircling his finger. He had flatly refused to remove it, even upon the interrogation he had received due to it, courtesy of the girl and the rabbit, and even Krory, although Miranda had quickly ended the conversation before it took a turn for the worse.

However, a positive of the development was the distress that the sight had brought upon a majority of his admirers, and a visible decline in the quantity of unwanted gifts he received at his locker or by other means. He could almost have smiled at the circumstance. Almost.

He was well aware that the teachers had caught sight of it as well, and much to his relief, it indicated that he would not be sent to the principal’s office if Komui caught sight of Lenalee being within a few feet radius of him. However, it did spark gossip of how he was ‘young’ and ‘irresponsible’.

The words did not affect him in any way, because he was well aware of the falseness of them. It had been a vow of faithfulness to the end that he had sworn nearly two centuries before, and for the duration of his life in this time, not once had he set eyes upon anyone that was not his beansprout.

Ever since the incident prior to recalling his memories, he was no longer affected by the instability of his mind, for which he was thankful for. Even if he no longer had any second exorcist ability, he wasn’t affected by the fabrications of his mind that had nearly driven him insane once.

To his relief, he rediscovered his property deeds and birth certificate, despite still being unable to trace the identities of his parents in his current life. He did, however, find his death certificate still present as well. Not wishing for anyone to discover the paper, he had hidden it.

As he stepped into the kitchen to make himself green tea, he retrieved leftover soba from the fridge and chose to eat that as well. His eyes drifted out of the window to the truck that had settled upon the opposite driveway. A family had moved into the house across from his, apparently.

Grabbing a pair of chopsticks, he began to make quick work of the meal. He had yet to see the new owners of the home, but he doubted it had much to do with him anyway. He supposed he did possess obligations as a neighbour, but he’d consider that at a later date - perhaps once he actually saw the family.

Setting his dish in the sink and finishing off his tea, he began to wash them. Setting them upon a rack to dry, he left the kitchen and approached the door, the sound of energetic knocking entering his auditory perception. 

Opening the door, he quickly stepped aside as a ball of energy with a shock of red hair barraged into his home. A sigh passed his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest. “The least you could do is take off your shoes, baka usagi.”

“Oh yeah… Oops.” Lavi quickly returned to the hall and removed his shoes, grinning sheepishly. Kanda sighed before motioning to two large garbage bags that sat against the wall of his oddly empty house. 

“Take one of them,” he ordered. 

“Say, Yuu, have you finally decided to get rid of all that stuff?” Lavi questioned as he padded over to the wall and grabbed one of the bags, whistling as he did so. “Man, this thing is heavy!” 

By ‘all that stuff’, Kanda could only assume he meant the antiques that had once lined the floor, walls, and shelves upon the ground floor of the house. If that was the case, then Kanda could affirm that he was indeed ridding his abode of the objects that spoke of a time long before the current one.

Striding over to where the redhead stood, he retrieved the remaining bag before heading for the door once again, slipping on his shoes and stepping outside. Glancing back at the redhead, he watched as Lavi wrestled with his burden and managed to slide back into his shoes before stumbling outside.

“Jeez, Yuu, how do you do it?” he inquired, staring wide eyed at the raven who merely locked the door of the house whilst carrying the bag with one hand thrown over his shoulder. Kanda sighed. He had anticipated more out of the taller teen. 

“Che.” Stepping down the small path that led to the sidewalk, he didn’t bother awaiting the rabbit, who quickly hurried after him with a rueful grin.

As they began their commute, Kanda thought he could feel another pair of eyes watching him. Scanning the neighbourhood with a narrowed gaze, he frowned. Glancing back at the redhead, he realized that not even Lavi was watching him, the teen being too occupied with ensuring that nothing fell from the large garbage bag in his hands. 

Kanda’s gaze returned to what was before him. Strange - he could have sworn there was another person watching him. Abandoning the thought, he continued to walk at a brisk pace, never being one for idleness or wasting precious time.

As they neared the city, the indicative commotion signalled the awakening of the place, causing Kanda to decelerate his pace, almost falling into step with the rabbit that seemed to have difficulty seeing past the load that he impetuously decided to carry before himself.

Making a sudden stop, Kanda turned abruptly and stepped into the alleyway, strolling towards the door that he had once made regular visitation to. Sidling into the small shop, he moved over to a desk and deposited his burden upon it, the redhead swiftly imitating his example.

Reedy music subsided at the sound, and Kanda’s pale gaze drifted over to the man who sat in the corner. A faint smirk crawled onto his lips. Somehow, it hadn’t surprised him that, of all things, the owner of such an establishment would be Marie.

“I’ve come to return everything I’ve bought from you,” he stated simply. “I can’t keep it with me any more.”

His words caused the man to pause, most likely to register his statement properly. As he watched, the older man stood and trod over to them, reaching out and into the nearest bag to confirm its contents before lowering his hand.

“Are you sure, Kanda?”

The raven nodded in certainty, one hand laying upon the desk, and the other motioning to the many objects that he had brought with him to the small store hidden within an inconspicuous alleyway within the city.

“I’m sure. You can keep the money - I’m just giving back all of this.” 

His gaze drifted over the antiques that he had bought on a whim before. Now that he could recall the reason for his anomalous familiarity with them, he realized just why he had disliked them so. As he watched the older man in silence, a sigh echoed throughout the shop.

“All right.” 

Kanda nodded in satisfaction before turning to leave the store, his gaze drifting over to the redhead who waited impatiently for him at the door of the place. “Thank you, Marie,” he stated simply, before leaving the store. 

“Woaaaah - Yuu-chan actually thanked someone meaningfully?” Lavi chirped, as they made their way out of the alley. Kanda clucked his tongue and elbowed the redhead none too gently in the gut. 

“No one asked for your opinion, usagi,” he stated, flashing the briefest of glares in the direction of the redhead. His gaze then lifted to the muted sky of early morning as they made their way to the academy, ignoring the gasp that elicited from the winded teen.

Due to the time that they had spent hefting around their burdens and the time that they had taken in order to return them to their initial owner, their arrival to the academy’s premises was not early, as per normal for Kanda, but precisely on time.

Kanda opted to part ways with the redhead, as they did not share their first class; Kanda having chemistry whilst Lavi sat through Mathematics. Stepping over to his locker, he opened it and grabbed his textbooks from it before locking it once again.

Proceeding down the hall, he languidly counted doors until he approached the one that belonged to his first class. Slipping into the room, within which students had already diffused, he made his way to the corner of the classroom to his unofficially designated desk beside the window. 

Propping his elbow up upon the desk, he leaned his head against his hand, the cool silver of the ring providing a not unpleasant sensation upon the warmth of his cheek. His gaze was fixed out the window as he ignored the subtle glances and murmuring whispers that fluttered among his classmates pertaining to himself.

It had only been a week, after all. At the least, it would take a month for the rumours concerning him to die down and that of another hapless teen to flurry through the student body like a wildfire. Until then, he had little option but to allow the words to live.

A faint sigh passed his lips as his eyes narrowed at the bright sky outside. The weather had grown considerably warmer, which wasn’t too unwelcome a development. It also meant that, within a few months, break would arrive.

What he would do during the time of educational stagnation, he didn’t know. Perhaps the redhead would attempt to convince him to go outdoors. Frankly, he wouldn’t mind doing so, as long as he was by himself for the duration of time that he was outdoors, and not attempting to do harm to a certain rabbit every three seconds.

Lowering his arm onto his desk, he continued to stare out of the window even as the sound of footsteps registered in his mind. He had done his penance for his indolent walk-out during class by doing more work than what was required of his fellow classmates. There was little left in the textbook that he did not know, but that was child’s play in comparison to the literal nothing in said book that the redhead didn’t know.

“Class, we have a transfer student who will be with us for the rest of the school year. His unexpected move is the reason for his late transfer,” Komui announced, straightening a few of the papers upon his desk, which did nothing to ease the clutter that had accumulated upon the unfortunate article of furniture. 

Kanda paused. That was unusual; to have a student enroll so late in the year. From what Komui had set it out to be, it seemed as though the circumstance of the new student was a rush of uncontrollable events that ultimately resulted in him having to move.

Mildly curious, Kanda’s eyes drifted to the front. Only for him to freeze. He could have sworn his heart stopped beating for a few moments before beginning once again. 

As twin orbs of silver met his ice-blue eyes, they relaxed as with the selfsame familiarity that flooded his body. He found himself standing abruptly, gripping onto the desk to hold himself upright and running his eyes over the pale features, noting the red scar that ran down the left side of the male’s face and the single glove that hid his left hand from sight.

Not daring to hope, Kanda’s eyes trailed over to those of the student, only to find them softening with affinity. His lips instinctively curved into a frown that held anything but the negativity characteristic of it. After all, there were some things that the public was not permitted to see, and that included the sight of him smiling.

“Would you introduce yourself?” Komui quickly interjected, sighting the obvious exchange between them. Kanda was well aware of the multiple pairs of eyes within the classroom scrutinizing them, but he could not bring himself to care. Not when… Not when the one standing before his eyes could be no one but the very one he had assumed he’d lost.

The footsteps of the male began to approach Kanda, even before his lips parted. When they had, however, the soft, “Allen Walker,” that left them caused the raven’s grip upon the desk to tighten, lest he lose any form of temperance and act in a manner that was both uncharacteristic and unseemly for him.

The shining eyes remained fixated upon him, leaving him entranced. Even if he had foreseen the desertion of the white-haired teen, he had never considered the possibility that fate would look upon him with kindness and allow him the one thing that he so passionately desired.

Releasing his grip on the desk, he could have sworn Komui had spoken, but whatever words the teacher had uttered flew past his head without even entering his ears. Reaching out, almost tentatively, he raised his hand to the cheek of the shorter male, almost as if questioning the reality of the situation they had found themselves within.

As the gloved hand of the former exorcist covered the one that he had laid upon his skin, Kanda could feel the familiar sinuous build of what had once been Allen’s parasitic innocence. His breath escaped him as he realized that, yes, this was real. The beansprout had returned to him.

He surveyed the soft smile that shone brightly within eyes that glistened with not only Allen’s but his own unshed tears of utter astonished joy. One of the faintest yet somehow one of the most loving smiles that Kanda had ever witnessed upon the shorter male crossed pale lips.

Before he could react to the events that slowly unveiled itself stunningly before his unaided eye, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his body. The gasps of either shock, or anticipation that elicited from their anything-but-romantic setting did little to affect the unadulterated rapture that tore through Kanda’s being like a surging wave of crackling energy.

He found himself reciprocating the embrace without a word, finally beginning to fathom the fact that, after despairingly yearning to be with the white-haired teen for longer than quite literally anyone he knew, he could not care less about the fact that he could be seen. Not at the moment, at least.

They regretfully parted, much to Kanda’s mild ire, as Komui ultimately decided to put an end to their reunion and continue with the class. Allen had opted to sit himself at the empty desk by the long-haired male’s side, for which neither Komui or Kanda could complain.

As the class progressed, Kanda was certain that the gossip concerning him would be prolonged for a longer period of time than he had initially assumed. However, that was a small price to pay in comparison to nearly two centuries of waiting for his beansprout.

Allen still retained the entirety of his memories, much to Kanda’s surprise. It was clear from the expression that dwelt within his gaze to the way he held himself. Fate had indeed chosen to show them an unlikely gift of compassion, which caused Kanda’s sharp gaze to soften, albeit indiscernible to most.

No words passed his lips for the remainder of the class; not even towards Allen. That made little difference as no words passed the lips of the British teen, save when he was called upon to answer the odd question upon occasion.

The day itself progressed as such, much to Kanda’s vague surprise, with neither he nor the white-haired teen directing so much as a word towards each other, but remaining obstinately inseparable by each other’s sides. In its own way, it was uncharacteristic for both of them, but as he had  affirmed prior, he didn’t care.

As the school day drew to a close, the transfer student had become notorious within the school, as did the words fluttering about concerning his relation with the British teen. Allen had become quick friends with his fellow former exorcists, as was usual, and Kanda harboured his suspicions that Lavi was a little too knowledgeable about the situation to have lost all memory of the white-haired teen.

Perhaps he was; perhaps he wasn’t. Kanda had long since concluded that it would trouble him far less if he forewent his attempts to read the insurmountable context presented by the redhead as a whole. After all, he was well aware that when it came to such things, he fell short.

The sounds of Lavi and Allen conversing cheerily with each other drifted into his ears as they made their way to their respective homes, but he did not make any attempts to slip into their talk. He would much rather occupy himself with listening to the treble voice that he had grudgingly missed.

His gaze drifted down to his vest, before snapping ahead of himself once again. Intuition was a bizarre thing, he deduced. Generally, when he acted out of instinct, it almost never amounted to anything that conformed to the standards of most anyone. However, now his actions seemed justified…if he could certify them.

As they crossed the road and into the suburbs, his eyes drifted down the row of houses that formed his block, he opted to break away from the two and step up to his house. A chuckle from behind him, however, caused him to stop short and turn back. 

Staring at Allen, he found a faint grin on the younger male’s pale features as a gloved hand motioned to the house across from his. Pale blue eyes drifted over to the house, only to find a peculiar pair of dark-skinned twins that he only vaguely recalled.

He blinked before glancing back at Allen who waved at the two. His neutral frown deepened slightly. Allen had been the one who had moved into the home? Icy gaze trailed over to Lavi, who too greeted the white-haired teen’s apparent caretakers with characteristic cheerfulness.

If that newfound information was not enough, he watched as a yellow cockatiel flew from the window of the house over to the white-haired teen and playfully snapped at his ear, causing him to jump slightly and tug at the avian’s wing in attempts to pull it off.

As its body stretched, Kanda caught sight of a familiar discolouration marring nearly the entire back and the partial wingspan of the creature, forming the shape of a cross fleury.

“Ack - what did I tell you about biting people, Tim?!” Allen yelped, finally succeeding in his attempts at prying the cockatiel from his ear. Kanda almost smiled. The sight was one that he could deem rather adorable - not that he would ever mention it out loud.

The bird proceeded to soar over to him and land on his shoulder, much to his surprise. As far as he could recall, the golem had never bore much of any amity with him, and he had made no attempts to familiarize himself with it. However, now the creature dared to even nuzzle his cheek, causing his eyes to widen slightly, and his frown to grow more prominent.

The sounds of shutters entered his ears and his gaze drifted over to the two phones that were held erect, flashbulbs shining at him. His frown rapidly transitioned into a scowl. “You’d better delete that or I’ll kill you,” he snapped irritably. 

In exchange for his words, he merely received a smile from one of the two, the other opting to abide by his wishes lest some bodily harm was done to him. Kanda rolled his eyes slightly and reached out, grabbing the shorter male by the wrist. 

“Baka moyashi,” he stated for the first time that day, the faintest of smirks dying his lips as he pulled the former exorcist closer to himself. “You never have any regard for your own safety.” 

In response, Allen merely poked his tongue out teasingly. “You won’t hurt me~” he sang, smiling. 

Kanda rolled his eyes once again. “Of course I won’t, idiot.”

Reaching into the pocket of his vest, he let out a prolonged exhale, his gaze barely softening down at that of the white-haired teen. “So it’s been nearly two hundred years, moyashi.”

“And whose fault is that?” Allen retorted playfully. Despite the light-heartedness of his tone, Kanda caught sight of the mirrored exultation within eyes that reflected moonlight regardless of day or night.

“Shut up. I’m trying,” Kanda jabbed. “It’s both of our faults.”

“I guess that makes you a BaKanda too, then~” Allen responded smartly. Kanda could have laughed, was it not a troublesome task, and did he not wish to keep the atmosphere balanced between seriousness and blitheness. 

“Baka moyashi - stop interrupting me,” Kanda retaliated sharply, his smirk growing faintly larger. “Just let me keep my promise right now.”

With that, he drew from his vest pocket a silver band engraved with the symbol of infinity that matched the one upon his finger. Lifting Allen’s left hand, he tugged the glove from it, revealing the familiar veiny hand that would have seemed monstrous to most.

Easily and with no reluctance, he slipped the band onto the malformed ring finger before lifting the hand to his lips. Planting a gentle kiss upon the appendage, he lifted his gaze to that of the shorter teen. 

“Welcome home, Allen.”

“I’m home, Kanda.”

With that, they drew closer to each other until their lips met in a soft, almost innocent motion. Kanda felt the weight of the cockatiel leave his shoulder, much to his relief, as he wrapped an arm around the shorter male. 

The atmosphere was abruptly broken by the sound of shutters, causing the pair to turn abruptly and stare at the three phones that were held facing them, one courtesy of the redhead, and two from the pair of twins, one smiling pleasantly, the other grinning mischievously. 

Kanda stared blankly at the trio for the briefest of moments before smirking. 

“You’d better send me those.”

It mattered little to him that they had captured the moment within their devices. Nothing that was a photograph would ever be able to compare to the sight of how stunning Allen was at that moment, smiling up at him with a content gaze. 

No one would ever be able to truly appreciate the sight, unless they had experienced the pain, joy, suffering, and peace though his eyes. Through the eyes that had willingly endured it all for the one that stood before him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the rollercoaster of emotions is now over. I do hope you all enjoyed it ^.^ I know I definitely enjoyed writing it. It definitely isn't the best of works, but I'm glad you all found it worthwhile to read. (or at least enough so to read it to the end~) Until next time, dear readers ^.^


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